Schmidt Quotes (Page 3)
Season 2, Episode 16: "Table 34"
Schmidt: Hey, M. Night Shyamalan. I've got a twist ending for you: shut up
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Cece: You look like a character from The Love Guru.
Schmidt: Aw, thank you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 15: "Cooler"
Schmidt: I don't really know what that accent is.
CeCe: English.
Schmidt: I speak English. That isn't English.
• Rating: 4.2 / 5.0
Nick: Band of Brothers!
Schmidt: Your friendship means nothing to me. Every man for himself!
• Rating: Unrated
Schmidt: I'm gonna have sex tonight. Are you two in?
Winston: Is that the way you wanted to say that?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: Dammit! Been trying to get something going with myself for a full hour. It's like a taffy pole on a hot summer's day.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Season 2, Episode 14: "Pepperwood"
Schmidt: They make shoes for your penis! They're called pants!
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: Winston said you make fun of my gremlin toenails. That you call them clickety-clacks or centaur boots.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schmidt: A pogo is what your friends talk about when you leave the room.
Cece: Oh like your barnacle toenails?
• Rating: Unrated
Schmidt: I know what my pogo is. It's that I dance like a sea snake.
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 93