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Hank Hickey: You know where he was for most of my birthdays? A little place that rhymes with 'not there.'
Chang: Times Square?

Chang: Hey! Those guys in there told me that you're the one that died in a fire and you're a ghost!
Janitor: And you just believed 'em? You just believed a bunch of ghosts??

Annie: The midterm dance will need a visual theme. Like, 'Let's blow off steam,' and it's trains!
Chang: I have an idea!
Annie: Chang, your last idea was to murder.

I'm out. I chang-ed my mind.

I'll be spinning hits from yesterday and today, which are basically the same to me, since I have changnesia.

Thank you, sir. You won't regret this unless I rise up against you.

Dean Pelton: If you had hit a small student, they could have died.
Chang: I wouldn't do that. I have a heavy flashlight for them.

Jeff thinks he has it bad? As jeff's understudy, I have to wear a Jeff wig on top of my Chang hair and then my bald cap on top of that!

I swear, they're just for sex!

Chang: What do I do if I see a crime?
Security Guard: Do what a security guard does and call a cop.

Don't tell the monkey I'm living in here.

Does anyone have an alliance I can join? I'm really loyal.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 38 in total

Community Quotes

I'm no sociopath, I always know what I'm doing is wrong. I'm just a guy that doesn't like taking tests, doing work, and getting yelled at. So if you think about it, I'm the sanest person here.

Jeff

Hello during a random dessert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.

Troy [reading the cake]