Don't shoot me, shoot him! He's white and out of ammo.

Shirley: This is not your baby Chang.
Chang: How do you know?
Shirley: Because I don't see any locusts.

I never told you this, but Changs are usually born with tails. You, sort of dodged a bullet there.

My nephew Jim was born on the treadmill at Bally Total Fitness; 20% incline.

Chang babies love the sauce, you know? Alcohol AND Duck.

Trust me I know these vents like the back of my Chang.

Why do I have to put the VCR on 3, if Bones is on 5?

Between you and me, I don't Chang a lot of chicks.

Landline? Ok, Grandma Bell.

Jeff: What are you doing here Change and how do you know where I live?
Chang: I can answer both of those questions by returning your driver's license.

Chang: Are you ignoring me because I'm Korean?
Shirley: You're Chinese.
Chang: Oh there's a difference?

Jeff: Kristi Yamaguchi?
Chang: Peggy Flemming. You're racist! Just been proven racist by the racist prover.

Community Quotes

Me and Abed have an agreement. If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide caused by the unjust cancellation of Firefly. We're gonna get that show back on the air buddy!

Troy

Annie: When you found out I was Jewish, you invited me to a 'pool party' that turned out to be a Baptism.
Shirley: Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into Heaven.