Don't shoot me, shoot him! He's white and out of ammo.

Shirley: This is not your baby Chang.
Chang: How do you know?
Shirley: Because I don't see any locusts.

I never told you this, but Changs are usually born with tails. You, sort of dodged a bullet there.

My nephew Jim was born on the treadmill at Bally Total Fitness; 20% incline.

Chang babies love the sauce, you know? Alcohol AND Duck.

Trust me I know these vents like the back of my Chang.

Why do I have to put the VCR on 3, if Bones is on 5?

Between you and me, I don't Chang a lot of chicks.

Landline? Ok, Grandma Bell.

Jeff: What are you doing here Change and how do you know where I live?
Chang: I can answer both of those questions by returning your driver's license.

Chang: Are you ignoring me because I'm Korean?
Shirley: You're Chinese.
Chang: Oh there's a difference?

Jeff: Kristi Yamaguchi?
Chang: Peggy Flemming. You're racist! Just been proven racist by the racist prover.

Community Quotes

Abed: Sometimes I like to pour hot chocolate mix into cold milk and drink it with hot cocoa, I call it special drink
Jeff: And some day you will know it by its true name, diabetes

I'm sorry Annie. I'm not the worker-bee type. I'm more of a silver back gorilla with the claws of a lion, the teeth of a shark and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.

Jeff