Serena van der Woodsen Quotes
Serena: Where are you going with this, Dan?
Dan: She came by my dad's gallery today.
Serena: Well, she probably just wanted to see your mom's art.
Dan: No, she was trying to buy him off so I wouldn't go with you tonight.
Serena: No. She wouldn't do something like that.
Dan: That's what I'm trying to tell you. That woman is the most manipulative person that I've ever met. She makes your mother look like Gandhi.
Serena: That's my grandmother you're talking about. I love her.
Dan: I know, and I'm so sorry. But, maybe you love her so much that you can't see what she's doing. I said it. There.
Serena: Maybe we shouldn't be doing this.
Dan: Maybe we shouldn't.
Serena: You're early.
Dan: Yeah, we need to talk.
Serena: What's up?
Dan: Is your grandmother here? Where is she?
Serena: Oh, yeah. She's in the other room, getting ready with my mom. Why?
Dan: I gotta be honest about something here. I don't think you're grandmother is who you think she is.
Serena: What are you talking about?
Dan: I know she got the whole free-spirit act perfected...
Serena: Act?
Dan: But I don't think she has your best interests at heart.
Blair: If you think about it, it makes total sense that your mom was a groupie. I mean, only a woman that had completely satisfied her sexual appetite in her youth would ever marry your stepdads.
Serena: Blair, can we not talk about my mom's appetite?
Dan: No, or who satisfied her.
Serena: That's just...
Dan, Jenny, Eric, and Serena: Gross!
Serena: No, my mom is sick because she doesn't want to be imposing.
Lily: You know what? I'm fine just curling up and reading a good book.
Eric: You're supposed to be with your family on Thanksgiving.
Dan: And Nicholas Sparks is hardly family. I'm not taking no for an answer. In fact, I'm not even asking. You're coming with us. I'm adult-napping you.
Lily: Fine, just, stop talking. And I'll get ready.
Dan: Make it snappy, I'm double parked. Thanks!
Lily: These smell great.
Eric: Yes, so we can starve in a fragrant hotel room.
Serena: We're not starving. Look, I got us into this mess and I'm gonna get us out of it.
Lily: Elaborate, Serena.
Serena: Thanksgiving at the Humphreys. Dan invited me and Eric's friends with his sister and his dad's really cool.
Eric: Awesome, I'm leaving the pumpkin.
Serena: What do you say, mom?
Serena: You couldn't make it past the salad, huh?
Dan: I opened the cranberries. My work is done. How's Blair's?
Serena: Uh, I wouldn't know. She gave me the boot.
Dan: What? She kicked you out of her house? What happened, now?
Serena: Uh, don't ask. But, the good news is my mom is going to slice us up a pumpkin. Oh, and there's a duck!
Lily: There's nothing wrong with having Chinese food on Thanksgiving.
Serena: What?!
Lily: Jews have been doing it on Christmas since forever. Look, a pumpkin! It's festive, yes?
Serena: We're gonna eat a pumpkin?
[flashback]
Serena: I don't want a bath.
Nate: Aw, too bad, Blair's direct orders.
Serena: Blair's not the boss of me.
Nate: Are your in the air? Because Blair is the boss of all of us. Seriously, Serena, you smell like the floor of a brewery.
Serena: I do not!
Nate: Yes, you do.
Serena: Oh, my God. I do.
Nate: Yeah.
Serena: A brewery floor with a hint of second hand smoke.
Nate: And a pint of Old Spice.
Serena: I totally need a bath.
Nate: Yes, you do.
Serena: Blair's a bossy genius.
Nate: Yeah, she is.
Serena: Tell me you didn't sleep with Chuck for revenge?
Blair: Are you jealous?
Blair: Nothing hurts more than sleeping with a best friend.
Serena: Way to prove a point.
Blair: Well I learned it from the master.
Blair: Your mom is freaking out, so my is freaking out.
Serena: Which means you freak out, Blair! Just cut the cord, go nuts! Come on, let's do shots! Come on!
Blair: I told Lily that you were buying a pie.
Serena: Oh, pie.
Blair: I mean, who gets wasted on Thanksgiving?
Serena: The holidays are lonely for people. I wanted to keep them company. Wooooo!
