My aunt and uncle were married sixty-three years. Towards the end it was like watching cheese melt.

Sheldon: Amy's mad at me, and I'm not clear why.
Penny: Okay were you talking before you she got upset?
Sheldon: Yes.
Penny: That's probably it.

Starting to watch a television show that might run for years isn't a decision to take lightly. I'm wrestling with a big commitment issue here.

Amy: Can you believe it's been five years since our first date?
Sheldon: I know. Do you think I should start watching The Flash TV Show?
Amy: That's what you're thinking about?

My mother's been there for every award I’ve won since I beat out my twin sister for the did it on the potty trophy.

Sheldon: Won't that void the warranty?
Howard: Sheldon, I have a masters degree in engineering. I wipe my bottom with warranties. Except for Apple Care. That pays for itself in the long run.

All I see is a black screen. And my own reflection. I look sad.

Sheldon: Aren't you afraid of being blinded?
Leonard: How would I be blinded?
Sheldon: At the end of the ceremony, all the students throw those pointy hats in the air. It's all pomp and circumstance until someone loses an eye.

Penny: [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon! [knock, knock, knock] Sheldon!
Sheldon: I bet that started off as a joke, but by the third one, you realized there was something strangely enjoyable about it.
Penny: Yeah, I kind of want to do it again.
Sheldon: I don't recommend it, you'll be doing it the rest of your life.

Sheldon: [singing] The itsy bitsy spider is not an insect at all. Because it has eight legs and two body parts.
Leonard: That’s pretty cool, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Thank you. Do either of you know Beyonce? I’d love her to get behind it.

Amy: Is this how the rest of the night's gonna be?
Sheldon: I don't know the future.

Sheldon: I'll give you three guesses why I'm so irritated.
Howard: Something happened different from the way you wanted it.
Sheldon: I guess news travels fast.

TBBT Quotes

Oh, Bernadette, please play my clarinet.

Raj's poem

Sheldon: I'll have a diet Coke.
Penny: Can you please order a cocktail? I need to practice mixing drinks.
Sheldon: Fine... I'll have a virgin Cuba Libre.
Penny: That's... rum and Coke without the rum.
Sheldon: Yes, and would you make it diet?