The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
Penny: You have a ton of friends. You got married. Moved into a new apartment. You wore a baseball hat that one time. heck, you've had sex almost as many times as I have fingers.
Sheldon: More. By this many.
Penny: You dawg.
Sheldon: It was the Avengers trailer.
Penny: You know, you go on and on about wanting things to stay the same but you've changed a lot since I met you.
Sheldon: Oh, you are a mean drunk.
Sheldon: This is a nightmare!
Penny: What's with him?
Leonard: He won a Nobel Prize and his wife looks amazing.
Penny: Oh, yeah. Got it.
Sheldon: Hmmm... what kind of tea is appropriate for winning a Nobel Prize and now everything is changing and you feel unmoored from reality?
Leonard: I dunno. Earl Grey?
Amy: It's weird. I don't really feel different but I guess our lives will never be the same.
Sheldon: I don't know. We're going to work like always. I still put my pants on both legs at a time.
Amy: One day, that's going to end very badly.
Sheldon: You know, when you think about it, now that we're Nobel Prize winners, our names will be linked together forever.
Amy: We're married. Our names are already linked together forever.
Sheldon: Oh please! That's just a piece of paper. This is a piece of paper and a medal.
Sheldon: How's it feel to be married to a Noble Prize winner?
Amy: You tell me.
Sheldon: Oh, Amy-centric! What a fun way to look at it.
Sheldon: The only drug I need is the endorphins pumping through my brain in anticipation of our victory.
Amy: Well, technically, anticipation wouldn't be mediated by endorphins as much as dopamine but, y'know, you've been up all night so I'll give you that one.
Leonard: I'm not going to make a fake appointment with a psychiatrist. What would I say is wrong with me?
Koothrappali: Low self esteem.
Howard: Social anxiety.
Sheldon: Sexual insecurity.
Leonard: None of that is true.
Penny: Denial. See sweetie, the list goes on and on.
Age is a state of mind, Leonard. In here, I'm 90.
Blue Icees and a trip to the container store? It's like I died and went to the postmortem neuron induced hallucination commonly mistaken as heaven.
Sheldon: After all these years. I'm really happy for the two of you.
Penny: Awww, thank you.
Sheldon: Now get out of my spot.
