The Big Bang Theory

Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBS
The big bang theory
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He left a boy. He returns a boy-sized hero.

Sheldon: Flattery will not get you this job, Ms Jensen
Ms. Jensen: It's not flattery, if it's the truth.
Sheldon: Oh, well, thank you. Welcome aboard.

Penny: I'm just a blonde monkey to you, aren't I?
Sheldon: You said it, not me.

Call me a romantic. I like to think your Mark Ruffalo is still out there somewhere.

Your desperate need for friendship makes you weak.

Sheldon: Penny? Please don't hurt my friend.
Penny: That is the last thing I want to do.
Sheldon: Thank you.

Leonard: The guy who seems like an emotionless robot ... is you, but your relationship with Amy is causing you to transform into a red-blooded man with sexual desires.
Sheldon: That is literally the stupidest thing I've heard.

Sheldon: Wolowitz when to MIT. What's your educational background?
Stuart: I went to art school.
Sheldon: Equally ridiculous. Let's go.

Boldly go, Howard Wolowitz.

Would you like some aloe vera? You just got burned.

Sheldon: I'll do it provided I can perform the service in Klingon.
Bernadette: No.
Sheldon: What do you see in her?

Sheldon: He asked her during coitus.
Howard: Did he get down on one knee or were you already there?

Displaying quotes 289 - 300 of 760 in total

TBBT Quotes

Penny: Here's a question-- as an alien pretending to be human, are you planning to engage in any post-prom mating rituals with Amy?
Sheldon: There are post-prom mating rituals?
Penny: Not always. Unless your date drives a van with an air mattress, then always.
Sheldon: Well, if it's part of the prom experience, then I'm open to it.
Penny: You're kidding.
Sheldon: I may be an alien, but I have urges.If Amy wants to copulate by firing her eggs into space, well, then, I will happily catch them with the reproductive sac on my upper flermin. I'm not the best at reading facial cues, but I can see that you're a little turned on.

Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that solves life's problems, and that's an Oreo. Or a Nutter Butter, if you're in a pinch.

Sheldon