Sheldon Cooper Quotes
Amy: Are you saying you want to spank me?
Sheldon: I don't want to. But, it looks like you have left me no choice.
Amy: That's true. I've been a very bad girl.
Sheldon: Amy, would you be strong enough to bath yourself? Or, do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.
No. I need to get you down for a nap. For some reason that Vaporub gets you all fired up.
Sheldon: How can you sleep? I'm not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you, and apply Vaporub to your chest.
Amy: You want you rub something on my chest.
Sheldon: Yes, all over it.
Amy: Maybe we should start with that.
Sheldon: Now you're being a responsible patient.
Sheldon: Now, you may notice some tingling.
Amy: Oh, I'm counting on it.
Amy: Sheldon, aren't you gonna take care of me?
Sheldon: Me? No. I'm not that kind of doctor.
... I can personally guarantee it has spent less than 20 minutes on an astronaut's penis.
Sheldon: Lipid residue. An anal autograph. A colon calling card, if you will.
Cleaner: Tuesday okay?
Sheldon: This cushion experienced a nude revenge wiggle.
Cleaner: A what?
Sheldon: A naked man sat on it.
I must be the bigger man. Therefore, you may use my spot until such time that I learn to drive or get a Batmobile.
Revenge is a dish best served nude.
Sheldon: Leonard, you're my best friend. Why don't you ever take my side.
Leonard: Because I can never understand your side!
Well, that's some salty language. May I remind you that you're the president of a major university, not president of the Potty Mouth Club. There it is again. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, I'm sorry for your loss. Good night, sir.