Amy: Are you saying you want to spank me?
Sheldon: I don't want to. But, it looks like you have left me no choice.
Amy: That's true. I've been a very bad girl.

Sheldon: Amy, would you be strong enough to bath yourself? Or, do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

No. I need to get you down for a nap. For some reason that Vaporub gets you all fired up.

Sheldon: How can you sleep? I'm not done making you feel better. I still have to put a cold rag on your head, sing to you, and apply Vaporub to your chest.
Amy: You want you rub something on my chest.
Sheldon: Yes, all over it.
Amy: Maybe we should start with that.
Sheldon: Now you're being a responsible patient.
Sheldon: Now, you may notice some tingling.
Amy: Oh, I'm counting on it.

Amy: Sheldon, aren't you gonna take care of me?
Sheldon: Me? No. I'm not that kind of doctor.

... I can personally guarantee it has spent less than 20 minutes on an astronaut's penis.

Sheldon: Lipid residue. An anal autograph. A colon calling card, if you will.
Cleaner: Tuesday okay?

Sheldon: This cushion experienced a nude revenge wiggle.
Cleaner: A what?
Sheldon: A naked man sat on it.

I must be the bigger man. Therefore, you may use my spot until such time that I learn to drive or get a Batmobile.

Revenge is a dish best served nude.

Sheldon: Leonard, you're my best friend. Why don't you ever take my side.
Leonard: Because I can never understand your side!

Well, that's some salty language. May I remind you that you're the president of a major university, not president of the Potty Mouth Club. There it is again. Do you kiss your mother with that mouth? Oh, I'm sorry for your loss. Good night, sir.

TBBT Quotes

You can't ruin a friendship with sex that's like trying to ruin ice cream with chocolate sprinkles.

Raj

Sheldon: Even the dung beetle chooses to plot its course by using the Milky Way.
Raj: Is that true?
Sheldon: Everything I say is true. Now, of course, the dung beetle also enjoys eating fece, living in feces and making little balls out of feces. So, pick and choose which aspects of its lifestyle you want to embrace.