The Big Bang Theory
Thursdays 8:00 PM on CBSSheldon Cooper Quotes
Yes, Penny has a lot of money tied up in promiscuity futures.
Sheldon's mom: ... there's no harm in trying something new.
Sheldon: There's a lot of harm in trying something new. That's why we test out drugs and cosmetics on bunny rabbits.
Frankly, Mom, I'm encouraged to see how advanced your group has become -- willing to sail into the ocean without fear of falling off the edge.
Sheldon [reading inscription]: "To Sheldon, sorry this took so long. Your friend, Wil Wheaton."
Wil: It's my last one and I want you to have it.
Sheldon: Look everyone, Wil Wheaton is my friend.
And you're going to have to choke back a hot sob of regret and humiliation as you mumble "I was, but I chose to go to a party thrown by the one kid from 'Stand by Me' that no one remembers."
Leonard: I'm going to a party. I'm not turning R2-D2 and C3PO over to the Empire!
Sheldon: Not yet.
... it was cooler for him to be the lower-left corner on Hollywood Squares.
Sheldon: This will just take a moment, it's on a five and a quarter inch floppy.
Amy: A floppy disk?
Sheldon: Well, I started the list when I was nine.
Penny: Wil Wheaton is Sheldon's mortal enemy.
Amy: Mortal enemy?
Penny: Mm-hmm.
Amy: Sheldon, I know you are a bit of a left-handed monkey wrench but... you really have a mortal enemy?
Sheldon: In fact, I have 61 of them.
Until you either do not go or go to Wil Wheaton's party you are simultaneously my friend and not my friend. I'm characterizing this phenomenon as Schrodinger's Friendship.
Sheldon: The Koothrappalis aren't just rich, they're Richie Rich rich.
Penny: How much is that?
Sheldon: About halfway between Bruce Wayne and Scrooge McDuck.
Raj: I don't know if I want to play anymore.
Sheldon: Because you don't have a girlfriend? Well, good lord, if that becomes a reason not to play Dungeons & Dragons, this game's in serious trouble.
