Andy: This is tasty.
Silas: It's leftover from Seattle. I just added a little cinnamon for flavor.
Andy: Sometimes I think you're the son I never had.
Silas: Thanks.
Andy: I'm serious. I feel a special kinship.
Silas: Cause we're related.
Andy: I'm talking spiritual kinship.

Silas: Shane, get over yourself. No one cares.
Shane: You're just jealous.
Silas: Of what?
Shane: That mom likes me more now.

Shane: Cat like reflexes.
Silas: Perfect considering you're a total pussy.
Shane: Tell that to Pilar.

College Girl: What?
Silas: Nothing I just love college so much.

Silas: I thought the Newmans' are doing things differently.
Nancy: We are. We're making hash.
Silas: So much for normal.
Nancy: This is our normal.

Silas: You missed a spot.
Andy: Back off Reading Rainbow.

Silas: You really think it's a good idea leaving Pebbles with Bam-Bam.
Andy: No, but we can't afford child care, so we have to take this small leap of faith. I'm encouraged because so far the baby hasn't ever tried to get us all killed.

Silas: What if you would've gotten a real job after dad died and we could've skipped all this shit.
Nancy: We would've had to sell the house. Move to a very different zip code. You and Shane would've had to go to even lousier public schools.
Silas: That doesn't sound so bad.

The normal Newmans' for normal town.

Silas: What the?
Store Clerk: (referring to her vampire puncture marks on her neck) I'm the chosen one of Warrior Griffin.
Silas: Cool...

(to Silas) You decide - are you going to be a lone wolf or stay with the pack?

Nancy

(to Nancy) What's the matter - they opened the pool cover?