Popular The Devil Quotes
Sam: Do I have to go to Hell now?
Devil: Now? No, no, no, not now. You're gonna work for me now in the Earthly Realm.
Sam: You mean, like, kill people?
Devil: Wow. You're a real pessimist. Of course you won't be murdering anyone. You're just going to bring escaped souls back to Hell. You know, like a bounty hunter. That's cool, right?
Isn't Nature magnificent? Beautiful, angry, soothing, merciless. It's perfection, don't you think? Gotta give... whatshisface credit
Sam: Yeah, you know, I've been thinking about that. I don't think I'm the guy who should be taking on the forces of evil.
Devil: No?
Sam: I know you own my soul and all, but I think the world would be better off if I worked for you in a lesser capacity.
Devil: Such as?
Sam: Well.. I haven't come up with the full plan or anything. Maybe I could get the word out, you know, be a recruiter. I could start my own Satanic web site, with evil design and then have really cool devil graphics or something.
Devil: Business is booming, Sam, I don't need any help with recruiting
You know, Sam, you're a lucky man. You're home during the day, all the wonderful daytime television to watch. When does Ellen come on?
He was electrocuted in Hell every day that he was down there. That's the kind of thing that makes a person crazy. That's what I do best
Devil: Look at that badass.
Sam: What are you talking about?
Devil: You man, you. The way you faced off with that soul. "Are we gonna do this hard way or easy way?" Ooh, I got chills. Seriously
Sam: Give me the vessel.
Devil: No, no, no, no. I do not like this tone at all. What's the problem?
Sam: Ted wants to promote me to assistant manager of the plumbing department.
Devil: Promotion? Well, congratulations! Make sure you get the 401(k).
Sam: No, no, don't congratulate me. He's saying that I'm going to spend the rest of my life here at the Work Bench.
Devil: You know, I don't get you, Sammy. You don't want to work here at this place, you don't want to work for me. What exactly do you want?
Sam: Just something that doesn't suck.
Devil: Well, one of these days, maybe you'll come up with a little better plan than that, huh?
Devil: Forget about the contract.
Sam: No, no. I wanna see it.
Devil: But why?
Sam: Because I wanna know my rights.
Devil: Oh, that's easy. You don't have any
Driver: Go to Hell, jerk!
Devil: I'll meet you there, Bruce. You know that little thing on his neck? Not a freckle
Sam, life's too short to drink domestic
Minions. You know who works for me in my central office? White-collar criminals. They hate me, they hate their jobs. I'm lucky if I get coffee in the morning
Sam: Wait a minute, so people can break out of Hell?
Devil: Yeah. That's a problem we've been having lately, what with overcrowding and so forth. Honestly, we were underprepared for the influx. I blame myself. But that's not your problem. All you have to do is track down fugitives and haul their asses over to a portal to Hell. Easy.
Sam: What do you mean by portal?
Devil: Well, any place that seems like Hell on Earth, is Hell on Earth, you know? The DMV on Union Street? Yeah, drop off a fugitive, renew your license. I'm all about the perks.
Sam: Oh, my God.
Devil: Hey, kiddo, it's okay. I've seen how this all ends. Don't worry, God wins
