Tobias Funke Quotes
Maeby: Did you get a job or something?
Tobias: No. No, I didn't. Unless you consider "world's coolest daddy" a job.
Lance: May I help you?
Tobias: Oh, I hope so. Um, I'm looking for something that says, "Dad likes leather."
Lance: Something that says, "leather daddy"?
Tobias: Oh, is there such a thing?
Cab driver: Where to, mate?
Tobias: The Gothic Castle.
Cab driver: Gothic a**h*le?
Tobias: That's what I said!
Tobias: There's my little girl. I've got great news. Daddy has the entire day off.
Maeby: But you have every day off ... You don't have a job.
Tobias: Well, I don't need money to hang out with my daughter. Where are you going?
Maeby: We're going shopping.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, I can't do that.
You have to be some sort of she-hulk to get this.
Tobias: Oh, give me the suit. Give me the suit.
George Michael: I'm actually wearing it right now, but I can't tell you why.
Tobias: You're wearing it right now?
George Michael: I have to wear it all the time. You ... you'd never understand.
Tobias: Oh, please, I'll never un ...? I'll never understand? That you can never be nude? I understand more than you'll ... never know.
George Michael: Yikes.
Tobias: I would be happy to play Adam. Uh, I'd prefer a speaking part.
Lindsay: Please don't speak for the rest of the meeting.
Tobias: Zing!
Lindsay: Maeby, where have you been?
Maeby: You left me at home. You do remember you have a daughter, right?
Tobias: Uh, yes. Uh, of course we remember, and we were worried sick, young lady. She's fine. Our daughter is all right.
Excuse me, do these effectively hide my thunder?
Tobias: Ok, kids. Mommy and daddy are going out for ice cream.
Maeby: Can we come?
Lindsay: Sorry, it's not for kids.
I didn't get into this business to please sophomore Tracy Schwartzman, so ... onward and upward. On ... (crying) Why, Tracy?! Why?!
