I have six roommates, which are better than friends because they have to give you one month's notice before they leave.

You never stop surprising me.

Not everybody has what we have.

I would start at the beginning, but I think I need to go farther back.

Smile if you love men's prostates.

You know what would be the hottest thing ever? A pregnant Helen Mirren.

Every Halloween I tell him the same thing; you can't bring weapons into the office, and every year he says the same thing; as soon as I get my weapons back I'm gonna kill you.

Toby: Why would you need relocation if you already live in Scranton?
Ray Romano: Well I'd wanna move further away, ya know. Don't want any chance to run into my co-workers outside the office.

Toby: Let's just say I'll be up to my neck in jury duty.
Michael: That was the worst joke ever.

Toby: I just wanted to let you know that I'll be taking a leave of absence starting next week.
Michael: Oh because you've been on the lam? Because the boring police have been after you? And they finally caught up with you?

Why you always gotta be so mean to me?

Sunday church service, it's been a few years. The Big Guy and I...we've got some catching up to do.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 62 in total

The Office Quotes

I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them.

Andy

Robert: You want a three and a half day weekend for Columbus Day?
Andy: Yes I do.
Robert: And you are aware Columbus and his legions committed genocide against an entire civilization of Native Americans?
Andy: I don't care.

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