Ella: My people hate your people
Tom: You're talking about painters and floorers, not Koreans and whatever I am, right?

Tom: What are you reading?
Ella: Pre-calc
Tom: I read the sequel, calculus

Allison [about riding a dirt bike]: Get on there, what's the worst that could happen?
Tom: I dunno, having to learn to type with a pencil taped to my head?

Tom: mom, they have a hamburger that costs $23
Allison: oh
Gary: does it come with a picture of the chef laughing at you?

Gary: Are you okay?
Tom: No I'm not okay, my heart is beating so fast my tie is moving

Gary: Hey son, when are you leaving for the big dance?
Tom: As soon as cowzilla rips the roof off and plucks me out

Fine, but we are officially even. After this, I don't want to hear how my big head ruined your body

Displaying all 7 quotes

Gary Unmarried Quotes

Louise: Thank you dad, you restored my faith in men
Allison: What'd he do? Wear pants to go get the mail?

Ms. St James: If we're going on a date you should call me erica
Gary: But can I call you ms St James on the date cause that's kinda hot?

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