Tom Haverford Quotes (Page 3)
Season 5, Episode 10: "Two Parties"
Chris: To Tom Haverford! Wooo!
Tom: And to my wife Rihanna! We truly did find love in a hopeless place.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Tom: Things magazine says it's the next big thing!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 9: "Ron and Diane"
Tom: It's cold outside and I can't wear mittens because they're not flattering to my hands!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 8: "Pawnee Commons"
Tom: Much like women in 90's stand up comedy routines, Tommy be shoppin'.
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 7: "Leslie vs. April"
Tom: If your job was remotely interesting, there would be a show on A&E about it.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Ben: What's your new company?
Tom: We specialize in making stacks on stacks on stacks on stacks.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Season 5, Episode 6: "Ben's Parents"
Tom: I hate to say this, but sometimes you have to work a little so you can ball A LOT.
• Rating: Unrated
Tom: Parents, are you tired of watching your middle school aged children grow out of the nice clothes you buy them? Then rent them! From Rent A Swag! You rent it. You wear it. You clean it. You return it. I get rich!
• Rating: Unrated
Season 5, Episode 5: "Halloween Surprise"
Tom: I just want to hear the doctor say that Jerry had a fart attack! Is that so much to ask?
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Tom: Seriously, did you eat farts for lunch?
• Rating: Unrated
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Total Quotes: 197
