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Cougar-town

Laurie: Hey, for the record I wore underwear tonight so you'd think I was classy.
Travis: No you didn't.
Laurie: I didn't. Turns out I don't actually own any.

Travis: You know, I've actually been experimenting at school.
Ellie: I totally called that!
Jules: What's his name? Is he cute?
Travis: I meant with religion.
Jules: Aw man, I was excited to show you how cool I'd be about it.

Jules: I can't even be a whore?
Travis: Mom, I think you would be an amazing whore-oh my God I can't believe I just said that.

Travis: Oh my God, you want us to be friends?
Jules: Friends that can talk about anything. I want us to be friends with benefits. I didn't use that right, did I?

Travis: Admittedly, Game of Thrones gives me a giant nerdgasm, but I gotta warn you guys it's a little racy.
Jules: Oh Trav, we're adults, we can handle it - oh, wow, boobs already!

Good God, I'm a stalker.

Jules: Taters are for laters.
Travis: She actually did say that.

Bobby: Hey Bud, can we talk about Laurie?
Travis: You know I really like her, huh?
Bobby: Yeah, I could tell by the way you stare at her breasts. Different from the way you stare at other breasts, more respectful.

Bobby: I feel like I'm cheating on Andy.
Travis: I'm your son so it's okay.

Grayson: You know when you're kissing Holly and she pushes her gum into your mouth and she sucks it back in? Why is that so hot?
Travis: Probably her big boobs.

Jules: You know what I learned from my friendship with Ellie?
Grayson: There's no such thing as too mean?
Travis: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?
Jules: Always hold a grudge?

Travis: Well you're betraying your own life philosophy.
Laurie: Never fight shorthaired bitches?

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