Cougar Town

Tuesdays 10:00 PM on TBS
Cougar town
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I am your grandfather, my back is genetically engineered to carry your burden. Lay it on me.

Chick

Jules: You know, I was trying to find the perfect setting and now I just don't know what to do. I know I have to tell them, or, a different approach, we hop in a car, drive west, and never look back.
Ellie: Don't joke! I packed my Thelma and Louise bag six years ago, so say the word I'll go grab it.

I have two hours to get healthy. It's like cramming for a test.

Jules

When she and I kiss, we kiss on the lips.

Ellie

That's true. I earned my spot, and you slutted your way in.

Ellie

Bobby's a very nurturing bitch.

Ellie

I call that rippin' on D-bags with Ellie.

Ellie

Ellie: I need a drink.
Grayson: Tough day?
Ellie: No, why?

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Oh I'll take one. I just want to see what date it was so I know not to come.

Ellie

Talking like a douche is not helping your case.

Ellie

Call your not stupid wife.

Ellie

The only thing I've ever made from scratch is Travis.

Jules
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 652 in total

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!