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I am your grandfather, my back is genetically engineered to carry your burden. Lay it on me.


Jules: You know, I was trying to find the perfect setting and now I just don't know what to do. I know I have to tell them, or, a different approach, we hop in a car, drive west, and never look back.
Ellie: Don't joke! I packed my Thelma and Louise bag six years ago, so say the word I'll go grab it.

I have two hours to get healthy. It's like cramming for a test.


When she and I kiss, we kiss on the lips.


That's true. I earned my spot, and you slutted your way in.


Bobby's a very nurturing bitch.


I call that rippin' on D-bags with Ellie.


Ellie: I need a drink.
Grayson: Tough day?
Ellie: No, why?

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Oh I'll take one. I just want to see what date it was so I know not to come.


Talking like a douche is not helping your case.


Call your not stupid wife.


The only thing I've ever made from scratch is Travis.

Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 652 in total

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Cougar Town Quotes

Wooo! How can I do woo wrong?


Laurie [to Jules for picture]: Arch your back and stick out your chest
Ellie: And say classy!

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