Cougar Town

Cougar Town Quotes

Episode 21: "Something Good Coming"

Jules: I hope I NEVER pee this out!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Ellie: Old Ferrett eyes is like four centimeters dilated right now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ted: If someone is really the one, they should be willing to go on any adventure.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Grayson: The idea of us all vacationing together is so bad, I'm making up a word: gagbysmal.
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: No one who says "coolie" is cool. That's why Coolio is named Coolio.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: I don't believe in ghosts, because if they were real I'd like to think that I would be felt up all the time.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: Tom is our interhouse-shuttle. I pay him with head pats.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: Stop being a parade rainer-onner. We're taking a group vacation!
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: This is the first time on this trip it's been just the ladies.
Ellie: It's an embarrassment of bitches.
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Is that the candle holder from the room?
Jules: Forget about it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: It's for the lady who likes to lounge by the pool, but also get paid for sex.
Laurie: You can do that? Is that a job?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jules: Oh my God! I want to snort this!
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: I'm gonna say something now that Meredith Baxter Birney has said in every TV movie I have ever seen: "I...will not give up on that boy."
 • Rating: Unrated

Bobby: I don't get this timezone crap. How can it be one time here and then another time at home. This isn't Star Trek.
Ellie: I wonder what you're doing in Florida right now.
 • Rating: Unrated

Grayson: Hercules! Hercules!
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: What is with the stomach kissing?
Jules: He's trying to jumpstart my uterus!
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 20: "Free Fallin'"

Ellie: What do you want him to do? Live here until he's 60 so you two can spend every second of your lives together?
Jules: Oh my God that would be amazing.
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: Did you just one night standed by your own son?
Jules: He said we were going to brunch.
Laurie: Oh no.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ellie: Are those all our houses?
Grayson: And that's us there, burning alive. You don't even have a head. No, wait, there it is.
Ellie: Why is my severed head still screaming?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Laurie: I don't know exactly what your race is, but I am into it in a big way.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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