Cougar Town

Cougar Town Quotes

Season 3 Episode 11: "Down South"

Grayson: It's actually illegal for me to sell after I close.
Ellie: That's why I'm not paying for it.
 • Rating: Unrated

[Title Card]: I didn't know it was back on either. - Abed
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jules: Taters are for laters.
Travis: She actually did say that.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bobby: Hey Bud, can we talk about Laurie?
Travis: You know I really like her, huh?
Bobby: Yeah, I could tell by the way you stare at her breasts. Different from the way you stare at other breasts, more respectful.
 • Rating: Unrated

Bobby: I feel like I'm cheating on Andy.
Travis: I'm your son so it's okay.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: I'm only an okay storm; I'm not a perfect storm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 10: "Southern Accents"

Jules: I'm sorry we can't hang tonight because we all have a very big important thing we have to go to.
Ellie: That thing got cancelled. I do have a different thing that only I have to go to.
 • Rating: Unrated

[Title Card]: Hey, would you and your friends watch a show called "Pig Trials"? Watch the episode, get back to us #pigtrials.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ellie: I can't be married to someone in public office. Jules, I have to interact with people. You know I hate the people.
Jules: That's what you get for telling Holly our thing was cancelled.
Ellie: You know what I hope? The Karma Gods get you.
 • Rating: Unrated

Grayson: You know when you're kissing Holly and she pushes her gum into your mouth and she sucks it back in? Why is that so hot?
Travis: Probably her big boobs.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: You know what I learned from my friendship with Ellie?
Grayson: There's no such thing as too mean?
Travis: Never let your friends know for sure if you like them?
Jules: Always hold a grudge?
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: If there's anything we've learned from Michelle Pfieffer in Dangerous Minds, or Sandy Bullock in The Blind Side, or Hilary Swank in that movie nobody ever saw, is that all you need to fix minority problems is a really pretty white woman.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 9: "Money Becomes King"

[Title Card]: She's marrying a man her own age, so why is it called Cougar Town?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jules: So you think Bobby and I could produce a doctor? [Jules and Grayson both laugh]
 • Rating: Unrated

Andy: Ellie's just jealous because she thinks I care more about you than her.
Bobby: Do you?
Andy: Yes, it's not even close.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jules: When you get up from that ottoman I'd go get a pregnancy test.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Andy: He's your son.
Ellie: He needs to learn.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Travis: Well you're betraying your own life philosophy.
Laurie: Never fight shorthaired bitches?
 • Rating: Unrated

Park Ranger: You married to one of those guys?
Ellie: No, they're lovers.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 3 Episode 8: "Ways To Be Wicked"

Jules: Way to go new guy.
Grayson: New guy? I am a key member of this group. I provide the sizzle.
 • Rating: Unrated

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