Cougar Town

Cougar Town Quotes

Season 4 Episode 15: "Have Love Will Travel"

Jules: Why do these stars have names on them?
 • Rating: Unrated

Bobby: Holy banjo, check out boob mountain.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Jules: I just want to give him a memory that is so great that he will never forget it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: Stan the bartender?
Andy: We have a son named Stan.
Ellie: Oh, sure sure.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 14: "Don't Fade On Me"

Jules: Sweetie, I'd let other people do the cons.
 • Rating: Unrated

Title Card: Remember when we wanted to change the title? Ah, good times. Thanks for sticking with us.
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: Hey, for the record I wore underwear tonight so you'd think I was classy.
Travis: No you didn't.
Laurie: I didn't. Turns out I don't actually own any.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Ellie: I'd be so much of a better husband than you. You're lucky you have a penis.
Grayson: Yup, they're pretty cool.
 • Rating: Unrated

Grayson: Yes, you've made me dumber, congratulations.
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: No one's ever made me a stalker video that I didn't have to see in a courtroom first. I love it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 13: "The Criminal Mind"

Title Card: John Hughes is a God.
 • Rating: Unrated

Laurie: Burn in hell you sad, desperate skank.
Grayson: Texting your mom?
Laurie: Yeah.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Laurie: Don't bum out Jules, not everyone is blessed with our God given lack of judgment.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: So all shoplifters are magicians?
 • Rating: Unrated

Ellie: I don't know what you're thinking, but it's like watching a gay porn with just one dude in it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Laurie: Grocery store jail, seriously?
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: If you don't want to be someone's bitch, you gotta get ripped.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 4 Episode 11: "Saving Grace"

Jules: Get crabbin' bitch.
 • Rating: Unrated

Title Card: This episode is funnier if you know that Courteney is terrified of birds.
 • Rating: Unrated

Jules: When did you get so good at lying?
Ellie: There's no shortcut. Just practice, practice, practice.
 • Rating: Unrated

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