Travis: That thing's on you like a bear trap. Is there at least a zipper so you can go to the bathroom?
Andy: I don't have to go anymore...
Travis: What?
Andy: What?

You're dressed up. Are you going out? May I come?

Ellie

Laurie: Today baby Bobby turns 6 weeks old!
Travis: And 6 weeks after childbirth means Laurie and I can finally... officially... get it on.
Ellie: Ugh.
Andy: Bleh.

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Just you and me and 20 seconds of peace and quiet

Grayson

I used to make fun of them, but now I get goth kids. Life is pain. Pain is life. The Cure rules!

Andy

Ellie: We've been robbed!
Jules: Dun dun dun... I don't know why I did that.

Sometimes doing the hard thing gets you where you need to be.

Andy

Ellie: What are our defenses?
Tom: Well, my garage is completely soundproof.
Ellie: Terrifying. Continue.

Yes, I have a daughter. I found out three years ago? Her name is Tampa? How come no one remembers that?

Grayson

Travis: My tee-ball coach diagnosed me with a terminal case of 'the dropsies'.
Ellie: A month from now, you're going to be holding a fragile, infant life in your hands.
Travis: Do you think it's going to be a problem?
Ellie: Babies heads are soft.

We know that if there's something we can't handle with this kid, we can always lean on you.

Laurie

I am your grandfather, my back is genetically engineered to carry your burden. Lay it on me.

Chick

Cougar Town Quotes

Laurie: Jules told me never to ask, but why do you call me Jellybean?
Ellie: Well JB, when Jules first hired you I thought you were so simple minded she could convince you that Jellybeans were more valuable than gold and subsequently pay you in Jellybeans. This concept was eventually shorted into your nickname, Jellybean.

Grayson: Shall we?
Jules: Indeed!