Venture Brothers

Sundays 11:30 PM on Cartoon Network
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The Master: Did you know he's uncircumcised? Yeah, Mr. Baldie will forever wear his turtleneck.
Triana: That's so gross! Do I have to break his heart?
The Master: No, but you do have to clean his penis with a Q-Tip.

Dean: Can I pet your pussy?
Triana: There's no irony in that, is there?

Dean: Well, if I was your dad, and you were your mom, and the you that wasn't your mom was another girl, I would never let anyone take the you-mom.
Triana: That would be really sweet... if it wasn't so confusing.

Dr. Orpheus: Punkin', get me my cloak!
Triana: Why don't you wear the...
Dr. Orpheus: Oh fine. Get me my blue windbreaker!

Dr. Orpheus: Pumpkin, you're up early, and you've changed out of your jam-jams into...the clothes you wore last night. How frugal of you. Did you just get home?
Triana: Kim was totally plastered, and then we were like...
Dr. Orpheus: Sweetie, let me love you - don't make this hard for us

Dr. Orpheus: Now we have the Venture twins staying with us, and they're not in the den. I sense something is amiss. Is there, something else you forgot to tell daddy?
Triana: They ran away.
[Dr. Orpheus gasps]
Triana: They said they were going to the city to become famous lion tamers

Triana: So how come I don't see you at school?
Dean: I'm kinda home-tutored in a box my pop made. It sometimes gets very hot in the box....my pop made.
Triana: Wow, that's, um...that's screwy.... Crap, did I upset you?
Dean: Penguins have an organ above their eyes that converts seawater into freshwater

Triana: Who's that big guy who's always washing his car in front of your place?
Dean: Oh, that's Brock. He's my dad's bodyguard. One time, I saw him kill a guy with a sock full of party snaps!
Triana: Did the guy's head get blown off?
Dean: Yes it did

Triana: Doesn't your dad have a nickname for you?
Dean: Well, I've heard him call me "Dave" or "Don" a few times, but I don't think they're nicknames

Displaying all 9 quotes

Venture Bros. Quotes

Hank: You are not the boss of me
Sgt Hatred: Au contraire, I am tony danza to your spunky Alyssa Milano. I am full on Charles In Charge of you

Hank: Is it just me or does every Nazi want to clone Hitler? It's like the only they think about
Srgt. Hatred: It seems that way, right. I guess when everyone hates you, you just fixate on making rotten Hitlers