Turk: Surgery is long, tedious and boring.
Cole: Oh I get it, like episodes of Entourage that revolve around Turtle.

Cole: I already know what i'm going to call my surgical practice. Cole Cutz.
Turk: With a z?
Cole: That's right! Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain.

You don't want to be a surgeon, Cole, it's boring and it sucks. It's the complete opposite of a water slide.

Dr. Cox: The ceremony of thanks is quickly approaching.
Turk: That's where you publicly thank the fmilies of the cadavers you've been dissecting this semester.
Dr. Cox: It's actually a pretty sweet deal for them. After their loved ones are stripped for parts like a 1998 Mitsubishi Mirage, we treat them to some free cold cuts and a chance to hear you regurgitate some trite quotes about their family members sacrifice that you found on the Internet.

Lucy: They say that by the end of yoru first semester of med school, it's obvious what kind of doctor you'll become.
Cox: Him?
Turk: Who? Trang?
Cox: Small hands, great with the ladies? OB/GYN.
Turk: More like a shopping mall pretzel vendor.

J.D.: I have to get ready man. I want my date with Kim to be perfect. What do you think about a romantic horseback ride on the beach?
Turk: Ooh, like you and I did for your birthday.
J.D.: Yeah but except this time with two horses.

Carla: Look, I feel like I can give you a list of things that are sucky about being pregnant. For starters, I am now horny as I have ever been and my husband is repulsed by me.
Turk: Listen, if you really need it that badly, I will suck it up and shut my eyes so tight and then do you.
Carla: Thank you for the sacrifice.
Turk: It's because I love you.

Carla: It is ok, don't get up. I got it!
Turk: Okay.
Carla: It's only your child.

Why does your TV smell like doo-doo?

Turk: All right. Kim's right there. We spent all morning crafting a line so raw with confidence that if you pull it off...you're back in the game.
J.D.: I'm afraid, Mocha Bear.
Turk: I know...buck up. (Turk pushes J.D. over to Kim)
J.D.: Hey, Kim.
Kim: Oh, hey. J.D., how are you feeling?
J.D.: Well, uh... The swelling's gone down...for now.
(Long, dramatic pause)
Kim: (Laughing) You're an idiot!

Carla: Remember when I first started dating Turk and I wanted to bail on him because he cried at the end of sex?
Turk: Baby!
J.D.: Relax Brown Bear. There's no shame in 'crymaxing'.

Elliot: I am wearing red. Should I not be wearing red around her?
Turk: She's pregnant, she's not a bull.

Scrubs Quotes

Elliot: I'd like to remember all the carpal bones in the hand with a simple mnemonic device: Scaphoid, Lunate, Triquetral, Pisiform, Trapezium, Trapezoid, Capitate and Hamate. Some Lovers Try Positions That They Can't Handle.
Keith: Hey?!?!
Elliot: It was not directed at you, Doctor.

Dr. Kelso: Ahhh! Dr. Turkleton!
Turk: Actually, sir, it's Turk.
Dr. Kelso: That's your first name.
Turk: You think my name is Turk Turkleton?