Scrubs

Turk Quotes

Turk: Surgery is long, tedious and boring.
Cole: Oh I get it, like episodes of Entourage that revolve around Turtle.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Cole: I already know what i'm going to call my surgical practice. Cole Cutz.
Turk: With a z?
Cole: That's right! Man, you gotta knock before you enter Cole's brain.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Turk: You don't want to be a surgeon, Cole, it's boring and it sucks. It's the complete opposite of a water slide.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dr. Cox: The ceremony of thanks is quickly approaching.
Turk: That's where you publicly thank the fmilies of the cadavers you've been dissecting this semester.
Dr. Cox: It's actually a pretty sweet deal for them. After their loved ones are stripped for parts like a 1998 Mitsubishi Mirage, we treat them to some free cold cuts and a chance to hear you regurgitate some trite quotes about their family members sacrifice that you found on the Internet.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lucy: They say that by the end of yoru first semester of med school, it's obvious what kind of doctor you'll become.
Cox: Him?
Turk: Who? Trang?
Cox: Small hands, great with the ladies? OB/GYN.
Turk: More like a shopping mall pretzel vendor.
 • Rating: Unrated

Turk: Sir, do you just hang around waiting for conversations to weigh in on?
Dr. Kelso: Yeah, that and my judge shows get me through the day.
 • Rating: Unrated

Denise: Why you moping around like a tiny girl bitch?
Turk: Wow, can't you ever be like "hi," or even better, "what's up?"
Denise: Sure, what's up tiny girl bitch?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Turk: If I'm gonna be jealous of someone it's gonna be some dude who can breath underwater or Serena Williams. That ass is righteous.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Russel: Jambo doctors. That's Swahili for hello or good morning.
Turk: Oh is it really? I know what it means. I had a jambo juice this morning. A berry blast with echinacea boost. It was delicious. I'm going to live forever, you're gonna be dead. I'm gonna be alive! Alive!
Denise: Wow, sure you didn't get a fem boost in there? That was pretty catty.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Turk: Somebody is parked in my spot!
Dr. Kelso: Boo hoo, it takes me eleven minutes to pee.
 • Rating: Unrated

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