Game of Thrones
Sundays 9:00 PM on HBOFavorite Tyrion Lannister Quotes
Anyway, don't despair, I'm a constant disappointment to my own father and I've learned to live with it. Here, your next tumble with Roz is on me. I'll try not to wear her out.
As impossible as it seems, there was once a time I was unaccustomed to wine.
Those are brave men knocking at our door. Let's go kill them!
Bronn: Stay low.
Tyrion: Stay low?
Bronn: If you're lucky, no one will notice you.
Shaggar: How would you like to die, Tyrion, son of Tywin?
Tyrion: In my own bed, at the age of 80, with a belly full of wine and a girls mouth around my cock.
Drinking and lust , no man can match me in these things. I am the god of tits and wine.
Tyrion: And here we have Bronn, son of...
Bronn: You wouldn't know him.
Bronn: Do you know how to use that?
Tyrion: I chopped wood once. No, actually, I watched my brother chop wood.
Tyrion: Ah...rapers. They were given a choice, no doubt. Castration or the Wall. Most choose the knife. Not impressed by your new brothers? Lovely thing about the Watch. You discard your old family and get a whole new one.
Jon: Why do you read so much?
Tyrion: Look at me and tell me what you see.
Jon: Is this a trick?
Tyrion: What you see is a dwarf. If I had been born a peasant, they might have left me out in the woods to die. Alas, I was born a Lannister of Casterly Rock. Things are expected of me. My father was the Hand of the King for 20 years.
Jon: Until your brother killed that King.
Tyrion: Yes, until my brother killed him. Life is full of these little ironies. My sister married the new King, and my repulsive nephew will be king after him. I must do my part for the honor of my house, wouldn't you agree? But how? Well, my brother has a sword, and I have my mind. And a mind needs books like a sword needs a whetstone. That's why I read so much, Jon Snow.
Varys: I'm not entirely sure what you're suggesting.
Tyrion: I'm entirely sure, you're entirely sure, what I'm suggesting.
Jaime: Don't get up.
Whore: My Lord.
Tyrion: Should I explain to you the meaning of a closed door in a whorehouse, brother?
Jaime: You have much to teach me, no doubt. But our sister craves your attention.
Tyrion: She has our cravings, our sister.
Jaime: A family trait. The Starks are feasting us at sundown. Don't leave me alone with these people.
Tyrion: Sorry, I've begun the feast a bit early, and this is the first of many courses.
Jaime: I thought you might say that, but since we're short on time...come on girls. See you at sundown.
Tyrion: Close the door!
Whore: The queen has two brothers?
Tyrion: There's the pretty one, and there's the clever one.
Whore: I hear they call him the imp.
Tyrion: I hear he hates that nickname.
Whore: Oh? I hear he's more than earned it. I hear he's a drunken little lecher, prone to all manner of perversions.
Tyrion: Clever girl.
Whore: We've been expecting you, Lord Tyrion.
