Two boys fighting over a a fantasy for some women. But I'm gonna have to put personal fantasies aside because as vice principal it is my job to punish boys for having those strong, sexy feelings that burst into action.

You should have no trouble ropin' in some frumpster like Dan.

Don't worry I won't let her know you're a hobag.

Jenna: Which is why I am going on a church retreat?
Valerie: With Bible thumpers?

I want to thank you all for coming to this required assembly.

I went full metal sequins with my outburst. Isn't that punishment enough?

I don't wanna go down. I've been there, one minute you're on top of the world, and next, you're butt-popping Meth in an abandoned warehouse with a guy named Rooster.

Jenna: Val, the cat is imaginary.
Valerie: So is my relationship!

Tamara: What kind of monster would do something so Resident Evil?
Valerie: Sadie!

Lissa: And now everyone probably thinks I'm unstable.
Valerie: ...honey that probably has more to do with your twitchy eye than your outburst.

Awkward Quotes

Put a flavored condom on your head because your mind as about to be blown. Jenna. you are legit popular.


Without the bad days we can never appreciate the good ones, and, there are so many good days coming your way. Just do me a favor, forgive yourself like you forgave me.