Dexter

Sundays 9:00 PM on Showtime
Dexter

Dexter: How do you know so much about hammers?
Vince: Not a tool I haven't played with, my friend.

I put her in a short skirt, so we could see her panties when she's falling.

Dexter: I have someplace I need to be.
Vince: I also have places I need to be. Not good places; but places.

Vince: You are so boning this reporter.
Quinn: Shut the fuck up.

Vince: The coroner can suck my uncircumcised dick if he doesn't rule this a homicide.
Vince: Way TMI, Masuka.

Vince: Anything I can do to keep that angry Irish off your ass, let me know.
Dexter: You're a good friend, Vince.

I got a reputation to live up to. I mean if my show does not make me people vomit and have an erection at the same time then I've let my audience down.

Masuka: (about his article) No biggie, I've been published before.
Deb: "Dear Penthouse" doesn't count.
Masuka: Hey, that letter was famous.

Your victim was smothered. That's not opinion. That's science and science is one cold-hearted bitch with a 14-inch strap-on.

Masuka: Step away from the incense. This is America, buddy. Freedom of religion.
Dexter: I didn't realize you were a Buddhist, Vince. Japanese are traditionally Shinto.
Masuka: Are we? Oh, whatever. I borrowed this shit off my manicurist. I need all the luck I can get. Got a crucifix up there, too.
Dexter: 'Cause it did so much for Jesus?

Masuka: How come you got a hug and I get a pat on the nose?
Angel: Cause you're like a retarded puppy.

(While fire alarm is on) All clear, everybody out! Respect the vest. Don't make me take out my hose.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 31 in total

Dexter Quotes

There are no secrets in life, just hidden truths that lie beneath the surface.

Dexter Morgan

I love Halloween. The one time of year when everyone wears a mask... not just me. People think it's fun to pretend you're a monster. Me, I spend my life pretending I'm not. Brother, friend, boyfriend - All part of my costume collection. Some people might call me a fraud. Let's see if it will fit. I prefer to think of myself as a master of disguise.

Dexter Morgan
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