Hi, mom. I just realized that this is going to be my first Christmas without you. That sucks. I still got you something, two somethings, actually. I will spare you the details of how because honestly I’m sick of talking about it. But it’s happening. I’m pregnant. I used to picture us having this conversation. It looked different. Obviously. I was a human carrying my own children and you…were alive. I know they’re not mine, but they’re still my responsibility, you know, and I want to…I have to do this right. And I have no idea what I’m doing and all I want to do is just sit on our kitchen counter while you burn our dinner and ask you a million questions. God, I miss you.

Caroline