Announcer: This week in the universe: New New York mayor C. Randall Poopenmeyer opens a new tube line to alleviate rush hour traffic.
Dateline: Paramecium Homeworld. Newly-crowned Miss Universe Glady's Lennox entertains troops fighting to wipe out the human race. Go get 'em, boys!
And in the world of Ultimate Robot Fighting, the Masked Unit wins his championship bout against Gorgeous Gonks by technical melting.