Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS

Max: I can't believe you put the platypus footrest in the trash!
Caroline: I'm gonna tell you this one more time. It's a possum and it died three to six years ago.

Caroline: I wouldn't kiss Ryan Gosling with stomach breath.
Max [along with Caroline]: Yes I would!

Max: This place is a freakin cat factory!
Caroline: And they're alive, how refreshing!

If I had know all that craziness was going on in your head, I would have ordered YOU some Mexican painkillers.


I've recently lost all my money and the promise of a bright future, and I've organized that in a file in my head labeled "Do not open until you are stronger".


If the cops come tomorrow, I will run like a girl.


Omg a hoarder hoarding another hoarder?? Happy birthday to me!


And then I kissed his beautiful girlfriend, who's black and British. The two cool things I can never be

Displaying all 8 quotes