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2-broke-girls

Caroline: Max, you look so smart in that robe.
Max: Not that smart. I just found out you're supposed to wear clothes under this thing.

I passed! I got a B! Now my grade matches your boobs!

Max

I wasn't as nervous when I rated for the results of a Hep-C test. Then again, I didn't study for that one at all.

Max

You must be Caroline. You look just like the girls Max used to give wedgies to in the cafeteria

Mr. Huck

I started studying last night and on behalf of all white people, I would like to apologize for everything ever.

Max

Caroline: Invade your privacy? You shave your junk with the door open.
Max: So?
Caroline: To the apartment.

In private school, we never bent down to put our mouths on anything unless it had a yacht.

Caroline

The only thing I ever graduated from was a Scared Straight program, which is why I'm not gay anymore.

Max

Max, I can’t believe it. I screwed me and the horse I rode in on.

Max

Caroline: You sleep in your bra?
Max: I have to. Last time I let them out at night they didn’t come home until 4am and couldn’t tell me where they’d been.

My gambling problem got so bad I couldn’t even afford my drug problem.

Earl

You have a coccyx? Want to go out sometime?

Max
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 245 in total

2 Broke Girls Quotes

You think this (clicking the fingers) is the sound that gets you service, I think that´s the sound that dries up my vagina.

Max

Hey, when you get a second, stop staring at my boobs.

Max
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