2 Broke Girls

2 Broke Girls Quotes

Season 1 Episode 23: "And Martha Steward Have a Ball"

Martha Stewart: I will taste it
Caroline: You will?
Martha Stewart: I like your entrepreneur drive. And I have a feeling it's the only way I'm getting out of here alive.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Max: slow down your heart.
Earl: Sorry I'm late, but if I run any faster cops tend to pull guns on me.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Max: Get your cupcake on, because we are going to get BALLED!
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Earl: Why Johnny, if it isn't the famous street artist.
Johnny: I'm hardly famous.
Earl: I know, my comment was laced with sarcasm.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: Don't exhale on me; your breath is like you went down on a brussel sprout.
 • Rating: Unrated

Oleg: I have a new town car service and slogan: "Lie back and I will ride you until you tell me to stop."
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Earl: Just because there is snow on the roof, doesn't mean there is not swing in the sling
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Han: I will only have one, when I get a tummy, ladies call me Budha a rub me for luck.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: What are you in the league of extraordinarily pretentious gentlemen?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Max: Steampunk! I remember that fad, it lasted for about 10 minutes back in two-thousand-and-are you kidding me?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 22: "And The Big Buttercream Breakthrough"

Max: Wait, you've never kissed her?
Oleg: Not on the lips of her face. But that day will come.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Caroline: Sometime you do something you're not comfortable with. It's how you grow.
Max: No, it's how you get a ride home from a kegger in the woods.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Caroline: See success!
Max: Scaring people into participating is not success, it's Scientology.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dutch Girl: We put the fun in Funnel, you can spell funnel without "fun"
Caroline: Or F. U.
 • Rating: 3.5 / 5.0

Catherine: You can't spell focus without "us".
Max: Or F. U.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Earl: Hello Sophie, if you looked any sweeter, you would fire up my diabetes.
Sophie: Oh Earl, you wouldn't be the first man to lose a limb over me.
 • Rating: Unrated

Han: Hey everybody, I got it!
Oleg: Don't worry, at least you caught it in the early stages.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Caroline: How did ketchup get this hard?
Max: You just hold it in your hand like this and say, "You're the best ketchup I've ever had."
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 21: "And the Messy Purse Smackdown"

Caroline: I can't believe you're putting your financial future into the hands of a hipster tax place called "The Tax of Life".
Max: You know how the old proverb goes. "You take the good, you take the bad. You take what's left, and there you have the tax of life."
 • Rating: Unrated

Earl: Max, you got a stamp? I wanna drop this off in the mail on my way home.
Max: I have one in my purse. I'll just get it.
Caroline: Max, he wants to file this year. He doesn't have time for the search party to go into your purse and return.
Max: Hey, it's a purse. It's supposed to be messy.
Caroline: No, it's supposed to be a purse, not a retirement home for a pair of panties stuck to old lifesavers.
Earl: I'm kinda off my meal now.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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