Mondays 8:00 PM on CBS
2-broke-girls

Caroline: I thought you weren't into pets?
Max: I'm not! It's a kitten ringing a doorbell! He was trying to get in, like people.

Max; Maybe we should ask your doorman, insert generic Irish name here, to come help.
Caroline: I know their names: day James, night James, and black James.

Caroline: I was cooold! And she thought she knew weather patterns!
Max: Are you high?
Caroline: Well. Maybe a little

Yea that's snow when you're rich! The only snow angels you'll see this year, are the six crack addicts frozen to our stoop.

Max

So what's the plan? What are we gonna do if it does snow? You're so white, I'm worried weíre gonna lose you.

Max

I couldn't tell when my first wife was coming, but I can sure tell when a storm is coming.

Earl

Max: Hipsters listen to?
Han: Radiohead!
Max: Homeless listen to?
Han: The voices in their head.

Han: Max, why did you kick out the hipsters?
Max: Because I cannot be in the background of another Instagram photo!

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