2 Broke Girls

2 Broke Girls Quotes (Page 2)

Season 1 Episode 21: "And the Messy Purse Smackdown"

Oleg: Chicken breast, side of hot sauce.
Max: Breast? Hot sauce? Come on, it's right there.
Oleg: Max, now that I have big love for Sophie, I no longer say inappropriate sexual things to other women. I save all my hot sauce for her breasts.
Max: Love has made you a real old lady.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Caroline: I wanted to scream, but it wouldn't come out.
 • Rating: Unrated

Caroline: This is not like me, the only thing I've ever lost is my virginity.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Earl: Today is April 16th do you know what tomorrow is?
Han: Oh, happy Martin Luther King Day. Have a drink on me.
Earl: It's not Martin Luther King Day; black people are allowed to be excited about other days.
Han: Oh, is there a new Tyler Perry moving coming out?
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: A pill! Could be birth control, could be XTC, waiting for a day off to find out. Why wait? [swallows pill] If I start touching your hair in an hour, don't let me have sex with anyone!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Season 1 Episode 20: "And the Drug Money"

Max: Yes, I'm her registered emotional companion.
Leo: Well, this is a legal proceeding and that's a highly unusual request.
Caroline: But not improbable. We googled it.
Max: Yeah, she's allowed to have an emotional companion as long as both attorneys agree.
Leo: Well, I graduated top of my class at Harvard. But, since you googled it, I'll try to make that happen.
 • Rating: 3.7 / 5.0

Caroline: What's the point? Clearly, I've already lost the game of life, 'cause I'm sitting in a drug trial waiting for my "A" to "L."
Max: Well, if your "A" does start to "L," you're on the bottom bunk.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: Well, bottoms up.
Caroline: Max, don't say that after anal leakage.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: It'll be fun. Just think of it as a middle school sleepover.
Caroline: With Drugs
Max: Yeah, a middle school sleepover.
 • Rating: Unrated

Max: Anything I can do to help? I'm pretty courtroom savvy. I mean, I haven't seen every episode of 'Law & Order.' Just, like 400 of them.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Max: Are you sure you didn't represent the woman who ate her child?
Leo: I've never represented anyone who ate their child ... on 'Law & Order.'
 • Rating: Unrated

Han: I was not talking hot. I was apologizing. She's still angry I left home. She thinks I'm freewheeling American who takes drugs and has intercourse with dirty Kardashians.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 19: "And the Spring Break"

Max: You need to stop freaking out because you're not where you thought you would be, in life or in our business. It's real life, lower your expectations.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I love her, so Madeline Stowe in Revenge.
Caroline: I don't watch that.
Stephen: We love it.
Michael: It's about a young blonde woman who is taking revenge on all the people who destroyed her life.
Caroline: Yeah, too close to home.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Earl: The guys in booth 2 just asked Han if he was on the down-low, they think he's gay.
Max: That's a step up; usually people think he's a lesbian.
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Caroline: Oleg, what are you doing here? And you put the "Oh No" in Komono.
Oleg: Sophie is letting me have sex with her; I came down to borrow sensual oils, preferable ones you can eat.
 • Rating: Unrated

Caroline: You can't handle was on the other side of that door.
Max: Yesterday I saw a guy on the stoop frenching his cat, I can handle anything.
 • Rating: Unrated

Caroline: Max watch out, you're so tired your spilling batter all over yourself.
Max: I knew it was just a matter of time until I became a battered woman.
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 18: "And The One Night Stand"

Caroline: I got to see my father, and he saw me.
Max: And I got to see Irish. I think he might be the one that got away, or the one that got put-a-way.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Max: I guess I am your BFF.. Broke Friend Forever.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

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