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CNBC gives me a headache. I get all my money advice from PBS.

Liz

Liz: I will spend half the day in twilight sleep and then I will go home to watch the Lifetime movie 'My Stepson Is My Cyber-Husband.'
Jack: That's inspired. You truly are the Picasso of loneliness.

[on stalking] That's a real problem in the celebrity community. But if Beyonce would just answer one of my letters, I'd stop trying to break into her house.

Tracy

Liz: [on V-day plans] One word: oral ... two words: oral surgery.

[on his speed dial rankings] Blackberry Warren Buffett, iPhone Jimmy Buffett.

Jack

Happy Valentine's Day, no one!

Liz

I always knew it would end one day. I just always thought it would be me in the trunk of a rental car.

Jenna

Dennis ... watching 'The Color Purple' drunk with you was one of my funnest nights ever.

Liz

Perhaps one day we'll live in a world where you ask us to pretend to be scientists.

Dot Com

Avery: I have a thing for commanding salt and pepper types. I don't know why. I think it started when I walked in on my parents the day Reagan was shot.
Jack: I wouldn't over-analyze that.

Hey Jack, whadya need? Arena rock anthem? Power ballad?

Jon Bon Jovi

There are some things that are actually harder to do with two people, like ... monologues.

Liz
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 15 in total

30 Rock Season 4 Episode 13 Quotes

Your ghost is going to see some disgusting stuff.

Frank

Valentine's Day is a sham created by greeting card companies to reinforce gender stereotypes.

Liz