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Albino ninja!

Liz

If I won an Oscar everyone would have to respect me. My obituary would read Oscar-winner, instead of children's soccer heckler.

Tracy

Hey are you Jack? Sorry I'm late. B.T.Dubs, I gotta leave for my ironic kickball league in about ten. Also I'm not interested in this position unless I'm going to be constantly praised. And I won't cut my hair.

Random Guy

She's got just the right amount of D.I.H.C. for me. I hear it and I don't care.

Jack

He owns the world's only giraffe basketball team, the New York Necks.

Jack

Dr. Drew called me un-fixable.

Jenna

Jack: You're someone with a lot of problems, who needs constant guidance.
Tracy: Don't forget, I never listen.

Sure, I Google myself all the time. Like when Angie's not in the mood or I'm alone in a hotel.

Tracy

I'm meeting up with my old Army buddy, Gary. Tonight we're doing a push-up and tomorrow we're going to a bar called Swingles!

Dick

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

Jack

Kim Jong Il? I've never heard of her.

Jenna

I need to see mine. If they used any of the footage from my shoplifting arrest, that would be great because my arms looked fantastic.

Jenna
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 15 in total

30 Rock Season 5 Episode 6 Quotes

Ambition is the willingness to kill the things you love and eat them in order to stay alive. Haven't you ever read my throw pillow?

Jack

Hey Liz, it's your father...Dick Lemon.

Dick