30 Rock Season 1 Episode 15: "Hard Ball" Quotes
Jack: He is not your friend, he's your opponent. He's going to try to grab all the marbles and it's our job to hide them.
Liz: That's not how you play marbles, Jack.
Jack: But that's how you keep them.
Tracy: I love this cornbread so much, I want to take it behind a middle school, and get it pregnant.
Kenneth: (dreamily) Pregnant cornbread ...
Why do you sound surprised? I love America. Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America.Liz
Liz: Why did you tell the reporter that you hate the troops?
Jenna: What? I didn't say I hate the troops.
Jenna: Liz, I'm just worried that I'm going to sound like I don't know what I'm talking about.
Liz: Would Sharon Stone worry about that?
That lady you European-kissed last night was actually a gentleman.Kenneth
Good lord! The worm ... that's so degrading. Are its origins German?Jack
The crab is getting aroused. Shut it down. Shut it down!Jack
Television on! Pornography!Tracy
Jack: Lemon, I would like to teach you something. I would like to be Michelle Pfeiffer to your angry black kid who learns that poetry is just another way to rap.
Liz: No, Jack. I don't want to learn about negotiation. I just want Josh to stay. The show needs him.
Jack: Lesson number one: you don't need anyone. Sure, Josh tests well with female viewers 12 to 24, which is important to advertisers because young women will buy just about anything.
These sunglasses have a chip in them that makes the lenses change color as my iPod loses power!Cerie
Liz: Wow, this is an... honor. I have a friend who is number four on Maxim's list of "The Sexiest Women in Comedy."
Jenna: Thanks. At first I was mad that Jessica Simpson was ahead of me, but then I saw The Dukes of Hazzard. Funny!