I just wanna make you proud of me, LL-Dad-Liz-Dad.

Tracy

Liz: Why are you so heavy?
Tracy: Cause so much of me has died.

It's a California Kong, which is two California Kings tied together with gorilla leather.

Tracy

You know what they say boys. If you can't stand the heat, get off of Mickey Rourke's sex grill.

Jenna

Jack: Your life is tied to the fate of the ring. It must be destroyed.
Pete: Are you quoting The Lord of the Rings?
Jack: No, I'm quoting myself talking to Bruce Willis.

You're still here! You didn't go to the store for milk and heroin and then never come back.

Tracy

Liz: You're at rehearsal before me?
Tracy: Of course I am, Liz-Dad. I'm your good boy.

Look at us laughing together...like a couple of Jews watching The Daily Show.

Kenneth

Jenna: What do you know about revenge?
Kenneth: Well, the Bible says it's wrong, but it's the surprise hit of the season on ABC so I don't know!

So, if you do have an extreme reaction, please try to get it on video for my nephew's funny website.

Dr. Spaceman

You know they don't tell you this until after you've paid for medical school, but being a doctor is exactly like the game Operation.

Dr. Spaceman

Jack: Your evaluation gave me pause.
Pete: Are you sure? Those look like hands to me.

30 Rock Season 6 Episode 16 Quotes

Oh my, it smells like Grandma's house at Christmas. That's when we found her dead on the toilet.

Kenneth

Who has the time with work, family, hobbies, listing excuses?

Tracy