Jack: [on knowing his mom was out shopping] I know. My credit card company called to confirm my purchase of the book "Intercourse After Hip Surgery."• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack's mom: A guy like Paul, who can drive at night? You just don't say say no to that!
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kenneth: Now you're standing on the very spot where Grace Allen took Jack Parr's virginity.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack: [on treating Liz differently] Well, I pay you a little less.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Pete: [on what the crew holds back from Liz] Farts, for one thing.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Kenneth: [on his pig] She went crazy. She bit off my nutsack, that I kept tied around my belt to feed the squirrels.
• Rating: 9.8 / 10 • Permalink
Len: Everyone has something to hide. For instance, I'm wearing a child's Halloween costume under this.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Cerie: [to Liz] You know this food area is always the first place I go to look for you.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jenna: Oh, I didn't know anyone was here. That wasn't me screaming in the bathroom.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
Jack's mom: Paul lives in Florida. He paints landscapes and makes his own soda.
• Rating: Unrated • Permalink
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Total Quotes: 20
