Hey, can I borrow sixty bucks? I'm going to meet Frank and Lutz at Scores.

Pete

Tracy: Yeah, I don't have a daughter.
Jack: Let's have a casting session on Monday.

Please don't make me move back to Alaska, Liz. I hate it there.

Lutz

This is what I do. I drop "truth bombs."

Tracy

Jack: What are you doing?
Tracy: Payback. The way you treated me. You used me.
Jack: God, its like dating Katie Couric all over again. I didn't use you. I created a situation that could have been mutually beneficial and you blew it.

You tell G.E. Light-Bulb-Man I want Sophie's Choice out of my suite!

Angie

[on the phone] Hi, my name is Liz Lemon and I received flowers from your shop tonight and I can't tell who they're from. No, no, I did read the card but it's not signed.... no, I'm not with so many men that it's impossible for me to guess... well, that is just... oh, well you know what, I found the card, actually, they're from your mom, so tell your gay mom I said thanks!

Liz

Hells yes Liz Lemon. And I had plans. Me and Angie rented the penthouse at the SoHo Grand where we will drink wine and pleasure each other.

Tracy

Bianca: Johnny, promise me you won't sell the Arby's.
Jack: I won't. I'm going to board it up, open all of the windows and let nature have at it.

Jack: I had "lunch" with Martha Stewart and "dinner" with her daughter Alexis.
Liz: Gross.

Jenna: Gerhardt, would you like to dance?
Gerhardt: Sadly because my body does not produce joint fluid, I cannot.

Just to know she's filled with bile over me warms my heart.

Jack

30 Rock Season 1 Quotes

Guy: Excuse me, is this seat taken?
Liz: [sighs] Really dude? I got to move my coat? There are like 4 empty seats over there - can't you just be cool?
[guy leaves]
Jenna: That guy wanted to buy you a drink!
Liz: Really? But I already have a drink... do you think he'd buy me mozzarella sticks?

Jack: Are you familiar with the GE tri-vection oven?
Liz: I don't cook very much.
Jack: Sure... I gotcha. New York, third-wave feminist, college-educated, single and pretending to be happy about it, over-scheduled, undersexed, you buy any magazine that says "healthy body image" on the cover, and every two years you take up knitting for ... a week.
Pete: That is dead on!
Liz: What, are you going to guess my weight now?
Jack: You don't want me to do that.