Favorite Accidentally on Purpose Quotes
Sasha: I know you will say the exact right thing to make me feel better.
Billie: ... There, there.
Sasha: You are so wise
Zack [about his ribs Billie stole]: They were only boiled. I hadn't even barbecued them yet.
Billie: Oh, I dipped them in some maple syrup and they were fantastic!
Zack [carrying a toilet upstairs]: This thing was way cheap on Craigslist.
Davis: This is a used toilet?!
Olivia: So, you left halfway through your waxing, and now it looks like a seven?
Billie: Or, from my point of view, an L
Ryan: [Billie] ate our ribs?! And this is how I find out? Oh, it is on!
Davis: Yeah! What could we do? How could we get her back? What of hers can we eat? Does she have a cat... or something like a cat?
Billie: Did you tell [Abby] about my half-a-wax?
Olivia: I don't talk to her unless you're here
Billie: Zack peed on me.
Abby: Is that a metaphor, like "he peed on your dreams"?
Billie: Nope, he actually peed on me.
Olivia: Well, that needs to be consensual
Sully: Congratulations to you and your husband.
Billie: Oh, nope. No husband. No boyfriend. No contraception!
Billie: So I met this cute, funny guy. And even if I'm so gigantic I can't even see if I need a bikini wax... I think he was flirting with me.
Abby: Of course, he was. We're the Chase sisters. People chase us.
After two mimosas, [my husband]'s open-minded. After three, he blacks out.
Abby
Nick: We're going to be parents... eventually.
Abby: Well, eventually, I'm going to be infertile.
Nick: Are we really doing this I-wanna-have-a-baby thing again over eggs Benedict?
Abby: I think doing it over eggs is completely appropriate! Because every month, I make one, you do nothing about it, and it dies.
Billie: Sully just asked me out. Is it possible that at this stage of my girth where my skin is stretched to the point that it may never snap back that someone could find me attractive?
James: Yeah, it's possible.
Billie: Hah! Thank you.
James: If he's a freak!
