Popular Accidentally on Purpose Quotes
Billie: Do you have some sort of bugging device?
James: What are you talking about?
Billie: You wait until Brian starts talking to me, then you pop up like a zit on prom night
Zack: The reason I didn't sleep with you... is because I had an orange penis.
Billie: Wow, I was imagining how you were going to finish what you're saying, but 'orange penis' is not where I was going
Olivia: [James] mailed you the box? Ohh, that is the work of a breakup master!
Billie: So I've heard. Why did I date the breakup master? Why can't I meet the relationship master?
Davis [about Billie and Zack]: Don't stress him out. She's not gonna try to marry him. She's just gonna mold him into a boring funless drone whose sole purpose in life is to accompany her to the fabric store! I mean, Shark Week? That's canceled. Peeing in the sink, finished! [to Zack]: I mean, she's gonna have your balls in a bear trap. But other than that, you are all good!
Abby: What about Zack? Are you at least gonna tell him you're going to start dating?
Billie: Of course.... Now, I am.
Olivia: Do it with your top off. I've delivered a lot of bad news that way
Billie: What are you doing?
Zack: I'm having a date.
Billie: Dates happen outside the home.
Zack: When you have money
So... about my internet date, uhm, he's married. And on top of that, his wife is pregnant too, and we have the same doctor. And, I asked him to leave
Billie [to Abby on the phone]
Billie, don't worry about it. You are beautiful, and you're funny. And you've got a cool job. Awesome TV. Insurance. Any guy would be lucky to have you
Zack
Abby: I have some amazing, unbelievable news that is going to blow you away.
Billie: Oh my God! Are you...?!
Abby: Yes! I'm Facebook friends with Olivia!
Davis: What's the next move with this girl?
Billie: Well, that depends. I mean, do we want to have a relationship with her or we're just looking to introduce our genitals to each other?
Davis: Ah, I've done the whole just-get-laid-casual-sex-never-see-each-other-again thing, so what I'm ready for now... is more of that
This chick is really out of my league. I mean, she's the kind that only sleeps with guys who have doors on their bathrooms... You know, fancy guys
Davis
Davis [about Billie]: I thought the two of you were cool with dating other people?
Zack: Yeah, but who's going to date her? She's got stuff popping out all over the place. You know, and I want to be a good guy about this, so I'm just going to do it behind her back.
Davis: You're a class act, Zack
