Accidentally on Purpose

Accidentally on Purpose Quotes (Page 2)

Season 1 Episode 6: "Fight Club"

Billie: Did you tell [Abby] about my half-a-wax?
Olivia: I don't talk to her unless you're here
 • Rating: Unrated

Ryan: [Billie] ate our ribs?! And this is how I find out? Oh, it is on!
Davis: Yeah! What could we do? How could we get her back? What of hers can we eat? Does she have a cat... or something like a cat?
 • Rating: Unrated

Billie: Why isn't the toilet where the hole is?
Zack: I don't want to get into complicated plumbing terms right now, but it turns out, I do not know how to install a toilet.
Billie: Well-- this is just it! I mean, there are boundaries! And not peeing on me is one of them, I think!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Zack [to Billie]: I thought you were asleep in your bed. The pillows were arranged in a very Billie-like way, and I thought they were breathing. I swear the pillows were breathing!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Olivia: So, you left halfway through your waxing, and now it looks like a seven?
Billie: Or, from my point of view, an L
 • Rating: Unrated

Zack [carrying a toilet upstairs]: This thing was way cheap on Craigslist.
Davis: This is a used toilet?!
 • Rating: Unrated

Zack [about his ribs Billie stole]: They were only boiled. I hadn't even barbecued them yet.
Billie: Oh, I dipped them in some maple syrup and they were fantastic!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 5: "The Love Guru"

Sasha: I know you will say the exact right thing to make me feel better.
Billie: ... There, there.
Sasha: You are so wise
 • Rating: Unrated

Andrea: I'm just not interested in anything more than a physical relationship with you.
Davis: Why?! I mean, what is it about me? Is-- is it because I live in a dump? Or because I have no money... or any desire to make money? Because I have no goals or dreams... or desire to have any goals or dreams?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Zack: Uh, Sasha, look, how do I put this? Some foods just don't go together: pickles and melon, whip cream and eggplant or...
Sasha: Radishes and yogurt. Oh God! I've heard this exact speech so many times. You're breaking up with me
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Abby: Listen, I know that you think the only reason we're friends is because of Billie but that...
Olivia: That is not true! I don't think we're friends
 • Rating: Unrated

James [to Billie]: You know, since you and I broke up, I'm... not going to lie -- I've been skewing kinda young. My new formula is my age divided by two minus three
 • Rating: Unrated

Davis [about Billie]: I thought the two of you were cool with dating other people?
Zack: Yeah, but who's going to date her? She's got stuff popping out all over the place. You know, and I want to be a good guy about this, so I'm just going to do it behind her back.
Davis: You're a class act, Zack
 • Rating: Unrated

Davis: This chick is really out of my league. I mean, she's the kind that only sleeps with guys who have doors on their bathrooms... You know, fancy guys
 • Rating: Unrated

Davis: What's the next move with this girl?
Billie: Well, that depends. I mean, do we want to have a relationship with her or we're just looking to introduce our genitals to each other?
Davis: Ah, I've done the whole just-get-laid-casual-sex-never-see-each-other-again thing, so what I'm ready for now... is more of that
 • Rating: Unrated

Abby: I have some amazing, unbelievable news that is going to blow you away.
Billie: Oh my God! Are you...?!
Abby: Yes! I'm Facebook friends with Olivia!
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 1 Episode 4: "The Date"

Zack: Billie, don't worry about it. You are beautiful, and you're funny. And you've got a cool job. Awesome TV. Insurance. Any guy would be lucky to have you
 • Rating: Unrated

Billie [to Abby on the phone]: So... about my internet date, uhm, he's married. And on top of that, his wife is pregnant too, and we have the same doctor. And, I asked him to leave
 • Rating: Unrated

Billie: What are you doing?
Zack: I'm having a date.
Billie: Dates happen outside the home.
Zack: When you have money
 • Rating: Unrated

Abby: What about Zack? Are you at least gonna tell him you're going to start dating?
Billie: Of course.... Now, I am.
Olivia: Do it with your top off. I've delivered a lot of bad news that way
 • Rating: Unrated

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