American Horror Story

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
American horror story
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There's not going to be a swimming pool, you stupid slut.

Constance

There are three reasons I deal with women; sex, money or makin' me sandwiches. And unless you're planning on going into my kitchen and slapping some ham between two slices of bread, this conversation is over.

Joe

Tate: Thank you for the salty pig meat we are about to eat, along with the rest of the rest of the indigestible swill. And thank you for our new charade of a family. My father ran away when I was only six, and if I had known any better I would have joined him. And, also because she's been trying to get back into this house ever since she lost it, Lord, a big thank you for blinding the asshole that's doing my mother so he can't see what everybody knows: that she doesn't really love him.

Violet: Gross!
Tate: You're right, it is. You mutilating yourself.
Violet: You do it.
Tate: Not any more. Promise me you'll never cut yourself again.
Violet: I promise.

Ever since you got here, this is the better place.

Tate

If she's dead, it's probably because she got wasted and offered the grim reaper a handjob or something.

Queenie

Myrtle: Madison, you are the worst kind of Hollywood cliche. You are a bubblehead with crotchless panties.
Madison: And you're a dried up, old hot pocket, but I don't judge.
Myrtle: You can't talk to me like that. I'm your elder.
Madison: Welcome to the revolution, Carrot Top. As the next Supreme, I'm gonna drag this Coven out of the Dark Ages. Crotchless panties for everyone.

I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things.

Constance

Nutmeg makes all the difference in the world.

Oliver

The cruelest thing of all is false hope.

Jude

Either crown me or kiss my ass.

Madison

I'm finding it really hard to look at your face because I really, really want to bash it in.

Vivien
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 107 in total

American Horror Story Quotes

Nein. Nein. No matinees. No. People don't come to see freaks in the heat of day, they come in the evening when the darkness moves in and speaks of mystery and the unknown. When logic loosens it's vice grip and the imagination comes out to play. Night allows the stars to shine and we come alive. No. Daytime is for kiddie shows, clouds and cupie dolls. If that's what you're used to, but you're in a real freak show now. MY freak show!

Else

Gloria: Where are you going?
Dandy: I don't know. Maybe St. Petersburg where they have real caramel corn, not that cardboard
they sell at the freak show!

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