American Horror Story

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
American horror story
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There's not going to be a swimming pool, you stupid slut.

Constance

There are three reasons I deal with women; sex, money or makin' me sandwiches. And unless you're planning on going into my kitchen and slapping some ham between two slices of bread, this conversation is over.

Joe

Tate: Thank you for the salty pig meat we are about to eat, along with the rest of the rest of the indigestible swill. And thank you for our new charade of a family. My father ran away when I was only six, and if I had known any better I would have joined him. And, also because she's been trying to get back into this house ever since she lost it, Lord, a big thank you for blinding the asshole that's doing my mother so he can't see what everybody knows: that she doesn't really love him.

Violet: Gross!
Tate: You're right, it is. You mutilating yourself.
Violet: You do it.
Tate: Not any more. Promise me you'll never cut yourself again.
Violet: I promise.

Ever since you got here, this is the better place.

Tate

If she's dead, it's probably because she got wasted and offered the grim reaper a handjob or something.

Queenie

Myrtle: Madison, you are the worst kind of Hollywood cliche. You are a bubblehead with crotchless panties.
Madison: And you're a dried up, old hot pocket, but I don't judge.
Myrtle: You can't talk to me like that. I'm your elder.
Madison: Welcome to the revolution, Carrot Top. As the next Supreme, I'm gonna drag this Coven out of the Dark Ages. Crotchless panties for everyone.

The cruelest thing of all is false hope.

Jude

I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things.

Constance

Nutmeg makes all the difference in the world.

Oliver

Either crown me or kiss my ass.

Madison

Jimmy Darling, I have loved you since the first moment I set eyes on you. You were warm. You were kind, and you looked at me. You didn't flinch. Not even a bit. And in that moment, I felt like I could face anything with you by my side. You are the only man for me. 'Cause you're like us. Different, but special. Let me take your pain away. Replace it with love.

Dot
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