American Horror Story

Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
American horror story
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There's not going to be a swimming pool, you stupid slut.

Constance

There are three reasons I deal with women; sex, money or makin' me sandwiches. And unless you're planning on going into my kitchen and slapping some ham between two slices of bread, this conversation is over.

Joe

Tate: Thank you for the salty pig meat we are about to eat, along with the rest of the rest of the indigestible swill. And thank you for our new charade of a family. My father ran away when I was only six, and if I had known any better I would have joined him. And, also because she's been trying to get back into this house ever since she lost it, Lord, a big thank you for blinding the asshole that's doing my mother so he can't see what everybody knows: that she doesn't really love him.

Violet: Gross!
Tate: You're right, it is. You mutilating yourself.
Violet: You do it.
Tate: Not any more. Promise me you'll never cut yourself again.
Violet: I promise.

Ever since you got here, this is the better place.

Tate

Myrtle: Madison, you are the worst kind of Hollywood cliche. You are a bubblehead with crotchless panties.
Madison: And you're a dried up, old hot pocket, but I don't judge.
Myrtle: You can't talk to me like that. I'm your elder.
Madison: Welcome to the revolution, Carrot Top. As the next Supreme, I'm gonna drag this Coven out of the Dark Ages. Crotchless panties for everyone.

Either crown me or kiss my ass.

Madison

I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things.

Constance

Nutmeg makes all the difference in the world.

Oliver

The cruelest thing of all is false hope.

Jude

If she's dead, it's probably because she got wasted and offered the grim reaper a handjob or something.

Queenie

Who's the strong man now?

Amazon Eve
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 118 in total

American Horror Story Quotes

Fate. Destiny. Luck. The prisons of man. People pass the time, enjoying the choices life provides--coffee or tea, right or left--as if it matters. We are all just spinning on the wheel. There is but one way to keep off the wheel. It's not youth. It's not beauty or true love. I know how to stay off the wheel. I control my fate. I have survived because I know one must be willing to destroy anyone, anything, even the ones you love, to keep the gods in check.

Elsa

Who's the strong man now?

Amazon Eve