Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FX
Prime_large
American-horror-story

There's not going to be a swimming pool, you stupid slut.

Constance

There are three reasons I deal with women; sex, money or makin' me sandwiches. And unless you're planning on going into my kitchen and slapping some ham between two slices of bread, this conversation is over.

Joe

Tate: Thank you for the salty pig meat we are about to eat, along with the rest of the rest of the indigestible swill. And thank you for our new charade of a family. My father ran away when I was only six, and if I had known any better I would have joined him. And, also because she's been trying to get back into this house ever since she lost it, Lord, a big thank you for blinding the asshole that's doing my mother so he can't see what everybody knows: that she doesn't really love him.

Violet: Gross!
Tate: You're right, it is. You mutilating yourself.
Violet: You do it.
Tate: Not any more. Promise me you'll never cut yourself again.
Violet: I promise.

Ever since you got here, this is the better place.

Tate

If she's dead, it's probably because she got wasted and offered the grim reaper a handjob or something.

Queenie

Myrtle: Madison, you are the worst kind of Hollywood cliche. You are a bubblehead with crotchless panties.
Madison: And you're a dried up, old hot pocket, but I don't judge.
Myrtle: You can't talk to me like that. I'm your elder.
Madison: Welcome to the revolution, Carrot Top. As the next Supreme, I'm gonna drag this Coven out of the Dark Ages. Crotchless panties for everyone.

I have long stopped asking why the mad do mad things.

Constance

Nutmeg makes all the difference in the world.

Oliver

The cruelest thing of all is false hope.

Jude

Either crown me or kiss my ass.

Madison

I'm finding it really hard to look at your face because I really, really want to bash it in.

Vivien
Displaying quotes 1 - 12 of 90 in total

Want more American Horror Story?

Sign up for our daily newsletter and receive the latest tv news delivered to your inbox for free!

American Horror Story Quotes

There are three reasons I deal with women; sex, money or makin' me sandwiches. And unless you're planning on going into my kitchen and slapping some ham between two slices of bread, this conversation is over.

Joe

Billie: Her husband murdered her with an ice pick.
Constance: It's hard to keep good help.

x Close Ad