Archer

Mondays 10:00 PM on FX
Archer

Archer: Please don't slash the painting, it's...priceless!
Lana: But worthless if you damage it. But even though it's very delicate, it can withstand a surprising amount of shit.

Well, one's thing for sure. If I had to do it over, I'd be a dictator.

Cyril

(imitating Malory) Cyril, shut up and find the vehicle..meh-heh-heh...I'm a hateful shrew.

Cyril

Kreiger clones: All will be revealed...in time.
Kreiger: And if there's one thing I love more than triumph, it's annoying vagueness.

Krieger: I think it's some unholy adolescent human amphibian hybrid creature.
Kreiger clones: Yes.
Krieger: I'm home! I'm finally home!

Malory: Ray, find Cherlene. No matter what happens, we can't leave without her.
Lana: She said, suddenly oddly maternal.

Pam: Now I feel like an asshole.
Malory: When do you not?
Pam: Almost always. I really like me!

Archer: In case you haven't noticed, this place is crawling with rebels.
Pam: And not the good kind you get drunk with at Myrtle Beach, and cruise the strip in the bed of their monster truck with a big rebel flag on it.

Calm down, Colonel Panic.

Malory

Pam: Not without a bunch of garlic and some wooden stakes!
Krieger: They're clones, not vampires.
Pam: Doesn't matter to the stake!

Apache! Helicopter! We should sell those, cause I'm rapper

Cyril: Why do we always have to share a room?
Ray: The sinister gay cabal, Cyril. You have fallen victim to the sinister gay cabal.

Displaying quotes 25 - 36 of 541 in total

Archer Quotes

Bloody mary, blessed are you among cocktails. Pray for me now in the hour of my death, which I hope is soon. Amen.

Archer

Hawley: Awww screw me!
Archer: ...said Ripley to the android Bishop.

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