Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXFavorite Archer Quotes
Cheryl: It tastes worse than it smells!
Pam: Man, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a guy say that, i'd have eight nickels!
One of carbon's many oxides.
Archer: You've been lying to me my entire life. Just for once I want you to tell me the truth.
Malory: Well, people in hell want ice water.
Archer: This must be what it's like to have sex with me.
Lana: How could an airboat be selfish?
I can do baby or I can do geezer murder mystery but I can't do both!
Com 'on twenty two black. Twenty two black. Twenty two... BLACK, ASS SON OF A BITCH! Uh..heh.. not you giant African man. I'm sorry, can I offer you a drink? How about this expensive prostitute?
any idiot can got shot cyril. Ask Brett.
Malory
Archer: I forgot you won the Olympic gold medal in men's downhill.
Gillette: Well, ass, it was giant shalom and I only took bronze.
Archer: So? You lost?
Gillette: I came in third.
Archer: Which is last.
Gillette: Which is third...
Archer: Last.
Gillette: In he world.
Archer: You lost. Geeze, get over it.
Because how hard is it to poach a god damn egg properly? Seriously, that's like eggs 101 Woodhouse.
Archer: You want me to take a baby to a murder?
Malory: Wherever, just out of here. I have no more love to give today.
Archer: What is it, like 2:30?
Malory: This is why I can't have nice things
Archer: Why, because you shoot them?
Lana: Did you see me holding that baby?
Gillette: Look liked Tyson holding that dove.
