Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXPopular Archer Quotes
Maybe I didn't go to some fancy-pancy Ivy League med school, and maybe I didn't go to some other med school, even the one down in Grenada which was my fall-back but whatever, that doesn't give you the right to bully me! I have had it!
Krieger
And by the way, if I was a clone of Adolf goddamn Hitler, wouldn't I look like Adolf goddamn Hitler?!
Kreiger
Lana: His left foot?!
Archer: Well that's good.
Slater: How could that possibly be good?
Archer: Well, relative to Krieger's asshole...
Archer: Seriously, where do you keep the fruity drink powder? I'd even take Rootin' Tootin' Raspberry.
Lana: How noble.
Archer: Well, no, I'd still bitch about it. And I think I've earned that right!
Hawley: She seems like a normal baby weight.
Malory: Yes, and everyone deserves a trophy just for showing up, and everyone's Kickstarter has merit. Ugh.
Lana: We're the size of a bacteria.
Dr. Sklodowska: Bacterium.
Lana: Thanks, Jill Nye.
Dr. Sklodowska: ...we could just ask me, the woman who graduated from Harvard Medical School summa cum laude.
Archer: With a minor in Spanish Bragging.
Dr. Sklodowska: A, that was Latin.
Lana: He knows.
There's enough room in the world for science and miracles.
Lana: Oh, so suddenly you don't have a death wish!
Archer: Lana, I've never had a deathwish, it's just that I don't believe that I personally even can die.
Slater: So, I saw you coming on to Archer.
Sklodowska: Look, I'm a sexual being. If that is shocking to you, so be it.
Slater: It's not, I was just gonna tell you that he's had the clap so many times it's more like applause.
Slater: Okay Gillette, now just slip it in, nice and easy.
Archer: Ugh. I mean, what about, "that's what she said", can we at least do that?
Now's the perfect time. It's not like you haven't thought about it. Just crash the sub and kill them, Cyril.
Cyril
