Archer
Wednesdays 10:00 PM on FXPopular Archer Quotes
Ray: I failed my induction screening.
Verl: Well yeah.
Cliff: Obviously.
Floyd: You put the "F" in 4F!
Ray: You know...
Archer: Will you quit jamming my ass with that thing?
Ray: He said, coyly.
Archer: Look, I know you cops have to check your weapons up front, and there's five of us and only one of you, so...
Pam: So who wants their ass beat first? And before you decide, keep in mind that I'm gradually goin' to get more tired, but also gradually more berserker.
Being a negro must be so exciting.
Cheryl
Malory: You don't want to drive all the way out there, only to hear him say, "On second thought, to make this happen, we're going to need a finger."
Archer: Nobody has ever said, "To make this happen, you're going to need a finger."
Malory: Oh, you'd be surprised!
Archer: [shudders] Ugh.
I bet that creepy old joint's as haunted as Mrs. Muir's thwat.
Figgis: Why do you constantly bring that up?
Poovey: What, Archer hammering your wife?
Figgis: Yes!
Poovey: In her flaps?
Figgis: YES!!
Poovey: [shrugs and mumbles] I dunno.
Cecil Vandertunt: At 7am, you care for bourbon?
Archer: Deeply.
Cecil: I'm afraid I'm going to ask for proof that you actually have Charlotte.
Archer: What kind of -- wait. Oh no.
Cecil: Yes, I'm afraid I require...a finger.
Archer: Uh, I could bring you her! Just drive by the house, she could wave to you.
Cecil: Ummmm, nope.
Archer: I...that's...then how 'bout a photo of her holding today's newspaper?
Cecil: Ummmm, well now that could work!
Archer: Yeah!
Cecil: Just make sure that she's holding the newspaper with nine fingers.
Archer: Ugh, goddammit.
Krieger: Look, I'm just following orders.
Barry: That's what the Nazis said!
Krieger: Yeah, tell ME about Nazis.
What a load of shit. I should be looking for my partner's killer but instead I'm looking for a damn finger.
Mother: Well, I hate to say I told you so.
Archer: Do you?
Mother: No. It's one of the few great pleasures in life.
