Archer

Archer "Pipeline Fever" Quotes

Archer: [If I brought food] I wouldn't have room for beer, and since I can't catch beer....
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Archer: She gets dinner in Dixieland and laid. And I get mosquitoes and no beer and not laid. How could this get any... [alligator murmurs] LET ME FINISH... worse. You ruined it. You ruined the moment.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gandalf: I love your new hairdo, by the way.
Lana: Well if you like the collar, you're gonna love the cuffs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Krieger: Pam, if you're dumping stuff on the street, you can also dump these.
Pam: What is it?
Krieger: Shattered dreams.
Cheryl: Smells like rotten meat.
Krieger: Also, yes.
 • Rating: 4.8 / 5.0

Lana: What's your third biggest fear?
Archer: Brain aneurysm.
Lana: What's a brain aneurysm have to do with walking around in a swamp?
Archer: Nothing, it can happen anywhere at anytime, that's what makes it so terrifying.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lana: What are your three biggest fears?
Archer: Getting stuck on a boat with you three times.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lana [opens cooler of nothing but beer]: You're s**tting me.
Archer: I know. A rainbow should shoot out every time you open it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Malory: We all have to chip in to make ISIS green. Look at me chopping ice for a Tom Collins like a field hand... or do I want a mint julep?
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Archer: Try clearing your throat about a gillion more times and see if that helps.
 • Rating: Unrated

Archer: This must be what it's like to have sex with me.
Lana: How could an airboat be selfish?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

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