Archer Season 1 Episode 2: "Training Day" Quotes
Cyril: Hey, will I get to learn Karate?
Archer: Karate: the Dane Cook of martial arts? No. ISIS agents use Krav Maga. We got an ex-Mossad guy who comes in on Thursdays.
Archer: Yeah. Tuesdays he comes in for a really rigorous spin class.
Cheryl: Beep beep beep.
Pam: Oh, your giving me the truck noise, Karen Carpenter stunt double?
Cheryl: I'm sorry, I thought you were walking backwards.
Cheryl: It's Carol.
Archer: What? Since when?
Cheryl: Since I had it legally changed because you always call me Carol.
Archer: Wow, that's... excuse us.
Cyril: Besides, I'm sure it's not the first time you've kept a secret from Lana.
Archer: Uh, hello. Herpes.
Cyril: You gave Lana herpes?!
Hey com 'on, you know I'd never let anything happen to your bacon. I love you Santa Clause. [sniff] I do.Archer
I am drunk, or I wouldn't be talking to you.Archer
Archer: Lying is like 95% of what I do.
Cyril: In your job?
Archer: Oh my God! You killed a hooker!
Cyril: Call girl! She was a-
Archer: No Cyril, when they're dead they're just hookers!