Just the Tip!

• Permalink: Just the Tip!
• Added: March 13, 2015

Pam: But wait, why are you telling me about your plan not to make Lana jealous.
Archer: Because I- oh my god, Pam, I think you might be my best friend
Pam: You're my best friend! (hugs him)
Archer: But what about Cheryl?
Pam: You're my second best friend!

• Permalink: You're my second best friend!
• Added: March 06, 2015

Archer: Where's Lana?
Krieger: I'm not even 100% sure where I am right now. (gets shot with a tranquilizer for the 3rd time by Archer)
Archer: (to tranquilizer gun) You are my new favorite thing

• Permalink: to tranquilizer gun You Are my New Favorite Thing
• Added: March 06, 2015

Pam: Pardon, but I'm supposed to-- (Queen slaps Pam)
Queen: Woman! I will kill you where you stand!
Cheryl: Which by law, I would be required to tell you if there was a murder in the house (pause) Ohhh, but if you're the murderer....That's what I love about this job. You learn something new every day.

• Permalink: Woman I will kill you where you stand
• Added: March 06, 2015

Queen: Foolish woman! Where is the bathroom!?
Cheryl: Where isn't the bathroom? Am I right?

• Permalink: Foolish woman where is the bathroom
• Added: March 06, 2015

Why are your plans always so complicated? You're like Wyle E Coyote with access to predator drones.

Lana

• Permalink: Why are your plans always so complicated? You're like Wyle E Coyote with access to predator...
• Added: March 06, 2015

Lana: And just so we're clear, he's the Prince of Duhan, an allied country.
Slater: Yeah, I'm gonna refer you back to "Because I said so."

• Permalink: Refer you back to Because I said So
• Added: March 06, 2015

Lana: First of all, your plan was too complicated!
Slater: Maybe for you people.
Archer: It had everything except a sign for free birdseed.

• Permalink: Free Birdseed
• Added: March 05, 2015

Slater: Everyone else, these are your dossiers. Read them on the way to Tunt Manor.
Cheryl: Tunt Manor! That's my house!
Slater: I know! (mimicking Cheryl's high voice) And because you know the property, you'll be posing as the listing agent.
Cheryl: Ahhhh! (squealing and clapping)
Mallory: Shut up!
Cheryl: Burn!

• Permalink: You'll be posing as the listing agent
• Added: March 05, 2015

I am pushing. Swearzy realzies

Cheryl

• Permalink: I am pushing. Swearzy realzies
• Added: February 26, 2015

Lem Kane: That's why I had to keep my secret. Can you imagine what that would mean to big oil or OPEC?
Archer: Well, there's no need to be racist.
Lana: How is the acronym for the organization of pertoleum exporting countries racist?
Archer: Oh, that's what it means?

• Permalink: OPEC
• Added: February 26, 2015

Lana's mom: What is it you're studying?
Archer: Um..Medeival-Slavic History
Lem Kane: Really? That must be fascinating
Archer: Well, everyone thinks that but---
Lem Kane: So tell me what are your thoughts on the Battle of Kosovo 1389
Archer: Um, no opinion (squirming his way through the answer)
Lem Kane: Not even as it relates to the rise of Serbian nationalism?
Archer: Um, nope? Also, that's a bit reductionist

• Permalink: Um, nope? Also, that's a bit reductionist
• Added: February 26, 2015