Archer: Who gets into a hot tub naked with a stranger?
Lana: Because everybody? Because Berkley?!
Archer: How doese a whole city get a pass from acceptable behavior!

• Permalink: How doese a whole city get a pass from acceptable behavior!
• Added: February 26, 2015

Cheryl: Oh please, you invented racism? Also, you're just a reconstructed light field produced by firing a razor through a beam splitter..
Krieger's artificial girlfriend: Waaaww!
Pam: Yeah dude, not cool..

• Permalink: you're just a reconstructed light field
• Added: February 26, 2015

Archer: Can I call you Lem?
Lem Kane: Of course you may, absolutely. But it's actually pronounced Dr. Kane.

• Permalink: Can I call you Mr. Kane?
• Added: February 26, 2015

Lana: Daddy, tell us about your research.
Lem Kane: Well, algae is always challenging.
Archer: Yeah, just ask a flip-flop.

• Permalink: Just ask a flip-flop
• Added: February 26, 2015

Pam: Can we talk for a second?
Cyril: Is that before Krieger sexually assaulted a 220 outlet. (group laughs)

• Permalink: Is that before Krieger sexually assaulted a 220 outlet
• Added: February 19, 2015

What is this Myrtle Beach? (pauses) Ray, is this Myrtle Beach?

Cheryl

• Permalink: What is this Myrtle Beach? Ray, is this Myrtle Beach?
• Added: February 19, 2015

Archer: I'm serious, just radio Lieutenant Colonel. He can straighten this whole thing out.
Military Commander: Lieutenant Colonel who?
Archer: This is embarrassing but I thought his last name was colonel.

• Permalink: I thought his last name was colonel.
• Added: February 19, 2015

Cheryl: See what? What's Area 51?
Pam: What's Area--, are you shitting me? Everybody knows about Area 51.
Archer: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread.

• Permalink: Yeah, even me, and I didn't know they made shoes out of cornbread
• Added: February 19, 2015

Ray: Good morning, this is Captian Ray Gillette welcoming you aboard from the flight deck. Flight time to Branson is about 3 hours--
Archer: No it isn't!
Ray: Shut up, and in the meantime..

• Permalink: Shut up, and in the meantime..
• Added: February 19, 2015

Cheryl: Let me guess, you're all butthurt because you hired some Pakistani dude to shoot you so you went to Vegas and now you're drunk and broke outside a casino and you want me to wire a $1000 to buy you a plane ticket and a pre-flight whore.
Archer: Ok, I'm gonna list everything you said that's totally wrong. A) I'm not outside a casino so.......

• Permalink: and you want me to wire a $1000 to buy you a plane ticket and a pre-flight whore.
• Added: February 19, 2015

Guys, come on. Can't we have one poker night without a hate crime?

Cyril

• Permalink: Guys, come on. Can't we have one poker night without a hate crime?
• Added: February 13, 2015

Cyril: And basically the only thing that keeps you from murdering each other is a lack of access to fire arms.
Pam: Works for Canada.
Cheryl: Nothing works for Canada.

• Permalink: Nothing works for Canada
• Added: February 13, 2015