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Maeby: I'm worried you're taking this too seriously.
George Michael: (huffs) Are you ... just the opposite.
("Here Comes the Bride" plays from Maeby's cell phone, George Michael chuckles and looks away)
Maeby: (turns off phone) What the hell is that?
George Michael: I bought you a wedding ring ... tone. (chuckles) Opposite of serious.

Michael: What the hell is going on? Nellie is not a, uh, uh, a prostitute.
Gob: Of course, she is. Oh, but I can see where the misunderstanding is. You didn't know. (yelling to Nellie in the background) Maybe we can give him a family discount!
Michael: Family discount is right, Gob. This is the sister I've been talking about.
Gob: Maybe I should have been getting a family rate ... (breaking down) Oh, my God.

Michael: Gob, listen. Can I ask you a question? Do you remember growing up with a sister?
Gob: Sister? Uh ... No, I don't. Not really ... ringing any bells.
Michael: Other than Lindsay, of course.
Gob: Oh! Lindsay!
Michael: Well, you might not be the most reputable source on this.

Michael: Lindsay, I can tell that it's real. It's like that feeling that you read about twins having.
Lindsay: We're twins. You didn't give me access to the banking.
Michael: No, you'd just ... you'd go out, and you'd just whore it up Lindsay, you know? Now, she's different. She's a little bit more like me. It's like we finish each other's --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: ... Sentences. Why would I say --
Lindsay: Sandwiches.
Michael: (nods) That time, I was going to say sandwiches.

(Michael is talking to Nellie)
Narrator: Hey, let's see what some of the other folks are up to.
(Shot of George Michael doing homework)
Narrator: Nothing there.
(Shot of George, Sr. clipping his toenails)
Narrator: Or there.
(Shot of Buster's nurse getting into bed with him)
Narrator: Oh, my ... Let's get back to Michael.

Lucille: Michael. What a surprise.
Michael: Really? Were you expecting somebody else? Maybe, uh, one of your two daughters?
Lucille: Oh, Lindsay and Tobias never visit.

(Lucille's necklace has just stuck to the magnet)
Lucille: That's not a real gold necklace, is it?
George, Sr.: Well, it wasn't really your 50th birthday.

The real problem is she keeps saying God is going to show me a sign, the ... something of my ways ... wisdom?

Gob

Michael: Even if we're not related, I think I would like for you to work here. You're very, very good at it. What you do for a job is not really a great way to make a living, you know?
Nellie: I make 300 grand a year.
Michael: Marry me. It's weird on so many levels.

Tobias: I find myself attracted to someone who is not my wife.
Michael: What's her name?
Tobias: Michael. ... Can you believe it?

A lady of the evening. Working girl. She turns illusions for money ... tricks.

Gob

Oh, I love soup. If the only thing I could do was lay in bed all day and eat soup, I'd be happy. I wouldn't even have to taste it. I could just take it through a tube. That would actually be better 'cause I wouldn't even burn my mouth. (laughs softly) Never let me die.

Buster
Displaying quotes 133 - 144 of 1094 in total

Arrested Development Quotes

(holding stuffed animals) These are my awards, Mother. From Army. The seal is for marksmanship, and the gorilla is for sand racing. Now if you'll excuse me, they're putting me in something called Hero Squad.

Buster

Oh, mercy me! I forgot that we were in the colonies.

Mrs. Featherbottom