Arrested Development

Arrested Development Quotes (Page 10)

Season 3 Episode 2: "For British Eyes Only"

Lindsay: You haven't had a serious relationship since your wife, and you guys weren't even speaking towards the end.
Michael: A lot of that was the coma.
Lindsay: Yeah, I've heard your side of it.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Sr.: You've got to get me out of here.
Michael: You're the one that said no to prison.
George Sr.: I was wrong. There, you just have to shut your eyes and take it. Here, you have to shut your eyes and give it.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: We've got a picture of you with Saddam Hussein.
George Sr.: I thought that was the guy who played the Soup Nazi. I told him how much I liked his work!
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Has anyone in this family ever even seen a chicken?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: Don't I look kind of British?
British Clerk: Perhaps if you're willing to lose twenty pounds.
Narrator: The clerk was asking for a bribe, but this was lost on Michael.
Michael: You guys do go for the jugular.
 • Rating: Unrated

Wig Shop Employee: Are you going to buy this time, or are you just curious?
Tobias: I suppose I'm buy-curious ... I have a big TV opportunity.
Wig Shop Employee: Well, this is where all the big TV's come.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: The feeling that you're feeling is what many of us call...a feeling.
Gob: It's not like envy, or even hungry.
Michael: Could it be love?
Gob: I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it's the opposite. It's like my heart is getting hard.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Narrator: Michael was filled with self-loathing. Had he been Jack the Ripper, he would have soothed himself in a most unsavory way. But instead, he just sat in his car and ate a whole thing of candy beans.
 • Rating: Unrated

Lupe: Mister Gay...he's bleeding! Mister Gay!
 • Rating: 4.7 / 5.0

Tobias: I realized it was for being a leading man. Oh, I can just taste those meaty leading man parts in my mouth!
 • Rating: Unrated

George Sr.: These are dangerous people, Michael. They will do whatever it takes to get inside this family and bring us down....Oh, they're polite and the men all sound gay, but they will rip out your heart. And their breath...
 • Rating: Unrated

George: Are you ready for the bombshell?
Michael: Andy Griffith wasn't the bombshell?
George: I'm a patsy. I was set up by the Brits. A group of British builders operating outside the O.C.
Michael: Don't call it that.
 • Rating: Unrated

George Michael: I'm just in the middle of a stupid girl problem. That's all.
Michael: I don't even have a girl, much less a stupid one.
George Michael: No, the problem is stupid; the girl isn't stupid.
Narrator: But if they ever had a child, it would be. Because the girl was his cousin Maeby.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Michael: I -- I was wondering if you might be willing to go somewhere with me? I -- I will pay you.
Rita: ... You'll pay me?
Michael: Not ... Not for sex. You're gonna think that I'm Jack the Ripper, right? Didn't he kill prostitutes, or ...
Rita: I'm not a prostitute.
Michael: And I shall let you live ... haha. This is my worst hello.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Pre-schools just go half-day, right? And I'm not trying to pick you up, but is there any way that I can, I can come by, pick you up, and bring you here?
Rita: Yeah, I, um, I suppose I could sneak out at nap time.
Michael: Yes? Perfect, great. And I shall drop you off alive, hooker or no. (mouths 'What is wrong with me?' as he walks off)
 • Rating: Unrated

Season 3 Episode 1: "The Cabin Show"

Michael: You seem more villainous than usual, Mom. Are you sober?
Lucille: Michael, it's 8 AM!
Michael: So, it's not that.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Lucille: I just went off my post-partum depression medication.
Michael: You're still taking that? You had Buster thirty-two years ago.
Lucille: And that's how long I've been depressed about it.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Gob: (about his son, Steve Holt) He's like the father I never had.
 • Rating: Unrated

Michael: Uncle Oscar can last one more day in prison.
Narrator: Not according to that day's blog at ImOscar.com.
 • Rating: Unrated

Narrator: Next, on Arrested Development...Maeby finds someone to help her forget her cousin: her cousin.
 • Rating: Unrated

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