Michael: I gave you permission to use the yacht. You blew it up.
Gob: Yeah, well, if you give someone permission to use a tissue, you can't be upset if they blow their nose. Right? I mean ...

Michael: Lindsay, new outfit?
Lindsay: This? No, I've had this for years. I think it's a hand-me-down from Mom.
Michael: You got a price tag. Right there.
Lindsay: Is there? I guess she wanted me to have something new. Sweet old thing.
Michael: Only two of those words describe Mom, so I know you're lying to me.

George Michael: You know, say what you will about America. Thirteen bucks still gets you a hell of a lot of mice.
Gob: Who said anything bad about America?

George Michael: There are certain things that I can talk to you about that I can't really with my dad, like, uh ... were-were you ever awkward around girls?
Gob: What do you mean? Like if there were three of us and I didn't know where to start? No, I think I did pretty well. Not a lot of complaints, if you know what I mean. At least not from the girl.

Patient: There's like this longing ... this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of ... ?
Young Maeby: Homosexual.
Tobias: Maeby, please. She's right, though. You probably are a homosexual.

Michael, it was shoplifting, and I'm white. I think I'm going to be ok.

Lindsay

It was a wild time on the beach, and if you like magic, look away. The only thing this guy could make fly away was the crowd.

</i> Announcer

Michael: What? What's going on?
Annyong: Ok. Mother want someone to go to my soccer game with. She don't want other soccer moms think that she is single mother. She old school.
Michael: I liked it better when he just said "Annyong".

George Michael: Hey, Dad. Do you think this purse goes with this outfit? Where'd my dad go?
Tobias: (falsetto) Douche-chill.

Oscar: Ok, but I never meant to break up your family. Your mom called me for a reason. I-I don't think she's happy.
Buster: No, she's happy. She's just mean all the time.

Gob: What do you use for misdirection?
Lindsay: Misdirection?
Gob: Yeah, I mean if you're so good at magic, what did you have them looking at to divert their attention?
Lindsay: I don't know. My ass.
Gob: My ass. You're lying.

Michael: What about the outfit yesterday?
Lindsay: Old thing gave it to me.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Barry: I do have some big news. It's going to cost you a little money. $20,000. Something like that. The courts have agreed to let your father ... out of prison.
Lucille: This is a lawyer.
Buster: He's a master.
Barry: For the entire afternoon.

If I still had money, I'd buy a Klimpy's just to burn it to the ground.

Lucille