Patient: There's like this longing ... this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of ... ?
Young Maeby: Homosexual.
Tobias: Maeby, please. She's right, though. You probably are a homosexual.

Michael: I gave you permission to use the yacht. You blew it up.
Gob: Yeah, well, if you give someone permission to use a tissue, you can't be upset if they blow their nose. Right? I mean ...

Michael: What about the outfit yesterday?
Lindsay: Old thing gave it to me.

Gob: What do you use for misdirection?
Lindsay: Misdirection?
Gob: Yeah, I mean if you're so good at magic, what did you have them looking at to divert their attention?
Lindsay: I don't know. My ass.
Gob: My ass. You're lying.

Oscar: Ok, but I never meant to break up your family. Your mom called me for a reason. I-I don't think she's happy.
Buster: No, she's happy. She's just mean all the time.

Hey, Mom, why can't Buster pretend to be your escort? That's the way he's got it in all his cartoons.

Michael

George Michael: You know, say what you will about America. Thirteen bucks still gets you a hell of a lot of mice.
Gob: Who said anything bad about America?

George Michael: Hey, Dad. Do you think this purse goes with this outfit? Where'd my dad go?
Tobias: (falsetto) Douche-chill.

Tobias: I must warn you, Michael, she doesn't respond well to strict directives.
Maeby: All right.
Tobias: That was odd.
Michael: Not really. Kids love boundaries. I mean, look at these girls. (Talking about the "Girls with Low Self-Esteem" tape) Is this what you want?
Tobias: Oh, God, no.
Michael: This could be where your daughter is headed.
Tobias: Oh, no, no, I don't want this for Maeby either.

It was a wild time on the beach, and if you like magic, look away. The only thing this guy could make fly away was the crowd.

</i> Announcer

Michael, it was shoplifting, and I'm white. I think I'm going to be ok.

Lindsay

Michael: (answering cell phone) Hello? Oh, hey, George Michael. Uh, I'm sorry? In your pants? I'll be right there. (hangs up) Um, my son has an emergency.
Detective Fellows: You know, there's a Grover book: "I Can't Hold It In." Worked for us.

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 574 in total

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Kitty: Do you like my outfit?
Gob: Not as much as I like what's underneath it.
Kitty: Gob!
Gob: No, I need your chair. Get up.

Michael: (to George Michael) I'm gonna give you a promotion. Welcome aboard, Mr. Manager.
George Michael: Wow! I'm Mr. Manager!
Michael: Well, manager. We just say manager. And you can hire an employee if you need one.
George Michael: Do you think I need one?
Michael: Don't look at me, Mr. Manager.
George Michael: Right. It's up to me now. I'm Mr. Manager.
Michael: Manager. We just say, uh --
George Michael: I know, but you just said --
Michael: Doesn't matter who.

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