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George Michael: There are certain things that I can talk to you about that I can't really with my dad, like, uh ... were-were you ever awkward around girls?
Gob: What do you mean? Like if there were three of us and I didn't know where to start? No, I think I did pretty well. Not a lot of complaints, if you know what I mean. At least not from the girl.

Patient: There's like this longing ... this pull. I mean, does that make me, you know, like, some kind of ... ?
Young Maeby: Homosexual.
Tobias: Maeby, please. She's right, though. You probably are a homosexual.

Michael, it was shoplifting, and I'm white. I think I'm going to be ok.

Lindsay

It was a wild time on the beach, and if you like magic, look away. The only thing this guy could make fly away was the crowd.

</i> Announcer

Hey, Mom, why can't Buster pretend to be your escort? That's the way he's got it in all his cartoons.

Michael

Michael: What? What's going on?
Annyong: Ok. Mother want someone to go to my soccer game with. She don't want other soccer moms think that she is single mother. She old school.
Michael: I liked it better when he just said "Annyong".

George Michael: Hey, Dad. Do you think this purse goes with this outfit? Where'd my dad go?
Tobias: (falsetto) Douche-chill.

Michael: (answering cell phone) Hello? Oh, hey, George Michael. Uh, I'm sorry? In your pants? I'll be right there. (hangs up) Um, my son has an emergency.
Detective Fellows: You know, there's a Grover book: "I Can't Hold It In." Worked for us.

Michael: What about the outfit yesterday?
Lindsay: Old thing gave it to me.

George, Sr.: Ban on organized sports?
Buster: You know, how you wouldn't let me sign up for anything when I was a kid.
George, Sr.: Is that what you've been thinking all these years? No, no, look, you were ... you were just a turd out there, you know? You couldn't kick, and you couldn't run, you know? You were just a turd.
Buster: Prison has destroyed the way you talk. If that's what it takes to impress these guys around here, then they are not your friends.

Gob: What do you use for misdirection?
Lindsay: Misdirection?
Gob: Yeah, I mean if you're so good at magic, what did you have them looking at to divert their attention?
Lindsay: I don't know. My ass.
Gob: My ass. You're lying.

Michael: I gave you permission to use the yacht. You blew it up.
Gob: Yeah, well, if you give someone permission to use a tissue, you can't be upset if they blow their nose. Right? I mean ...

Displaying quotes 13 - 24 of 574 in total

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

Barry: I do have some big news. It's going to cost you a little money. $20,000. Something like that. The courts have agreed to let your father ... out of prison.
Lucille: This is a lawyer.
Buster: He's a master.
Barry: For the entire afternoon.

Hey, brother-in-law.

Buster