Buster: Um, is it okay if I do it for Mom and not you?
Michael: Yeah.
Buster: Because I really like Mom.
Michael: We know.

It's an idiot on a scooter at night. It's got to be Gob.

Lucille

George Michael: I, uh ... need you to make some fake IDs for me and Maeby.
Gob: Like a passport?
George Michael: Yeah, yeah, that would be great. Oh, and, uh, preferably French. I like the way they think.

George Sr.: I'm paying thousands of dollars in Krugerrands.
Lindsay: What?
George Sr.: Gold Krugerrands. Your mother snuck them in here, stuffed them in energy bar wrappers to keep me from getting strangled in the shower or worse.
Lindsay: Stabbed?
George Sr.: In a way.

Lucille: Buster, what's going on? What happened to your head?
Buster: Nothing. Gob was just teaching me how to hit it with a hammer.

Lucille: You're my third least favorite child.
Michael: I can live with that.

Maeby: We don't have to go, do we?
Michael: Come on, this is a Bluth family celebration ... It's no place for children.

Mom, you've already got two strikes on your record. You strike one more person and it's technically a spree.

Michael

She went from giddy to devastated. I mean, it would have been funnier if it wasn't so ... no, it was kind of funny.

Michael

Buster: I've already got a Lucille in my life.
Lucille 2: I understand ... That's healthy.

It's all I've ever wanted from you, Daddy - for you to spend money on me.

Lindsay

Michael: Actually my head does not hurt at all. What did you give me?
Doctor: Your mother asked me to pump you full of ...
Lucille: Children's aspirin.

Arrested Development Season 1 Quotes

(Regarding Buster) Maybe it was the eleven months he spent in the womb. The doctor said there were claw marks on the walls of her uterus. But he was her 'miracle baby'. And I-I was just too burnt out on raising you guys to care. So... He turned out a little soft, you know...

George Sr.

(to a waiter) Take it back. If I wanted something your thumb touched, I'd eat the inside of your ear.

Lucille