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Kevin: What do you think? Should we send her to bed without dessert?
Lacey: So that she wakes up skinnier? No, that's not a punishment that's a reward.

Maybe you're misjudging the situation and the guy really does like you just the way you are.


Jake: I didn't know you were a smoker.
Jenna: I'm not.
Jake: Well, I here cancer does make your ass look huge.

Your face is all red and you have crazy eyes. Did you feed the rabid squirrel in the quad?


Maybe Kyle designed that shirt as a fan. Maybe he wants to be your dawg.


Your suicide stigma is like the herps just when you think it's gone it comes back.


If you're not into the shirt at least take these so you look hip. They're fake and they'll help you hide your big unibrow.


My mother's perception of being bold was free boobing.

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